Christmas gift for your teen

The Christmas holiday will be here before we have a chance to breathe after Thanksgiving. Stores have had their Christmas decorations up for weeks now and parents are gearing up for the dreaded holiday shopping.

Some of the most difficult gifts to buy at Christmas is for teens. With all the gadgets teens want, they may not realize what they need. That's where parents step in.

Why not give your teen something that will help them move through their teen years with Godly insight? A book designed to discuss topics that affect teens daily. A book that gives teens and parents a place to come together to openly discuss some of the difficulties they face.

The book is, Tools4Teens.

Rich in truth, moving in story, profound in content … it’s what you want every teenager to read, reflect and relate to as they attempt to navigate the most turbulent waters of life … the teenage years! With the Spirit of faith, hope and love, Kelly Litvak and Shirley Hanson have assembled more than a book, it is a snapshot of an intersection between the two most important stories in history, God’s story and yours. ~ Jerry Edmonson, Lead Pastor, The Fellowship at Cinco Ranch

Order yours today. It's the easiest gift you'll purchase but the one that will sow seeds that will grow a lifetime.

Educators gather to learn how to prevent suicide among teens

Teenage suicide should never happen.

That's what LDS romance novelist Anita Stansfield, who spoke at the Provo School District's suicide prevention conference on Friday, told the hundreds of teachers, counselors and social workers who had gathered at BYU on a mission toward that very goal.

Stansfield spoke about her older brother, who killed himself at age 50 after years of struggling with mental illness. Twenty years prior to Nathan's suicide, her uncle had killed himself. No mention of this was made at his funeral.

Stansfield said she made the choice to talk about how he killed himself at Nathan's funeral.

"I just believe that denial is a great facilitator of many ugly things in life," she said.

Presenters talked about a number of different subjects, including the science behind depression, addiction and suicide, bullying, how to recognize suicidal behavior and talk to suicidal teens and different ways to help teenagers.

Beyond the basics of bullying: Curt Johnson

Girls gossip and backbite, boys kick and punch. That's how Americans view bullying.

New research out of Utah County shows that boys are more likely than girls to gossip and tease and less likely to see such relational bullying as actual bullying, which means it won't go away.

Curt Johnson, a psychologist with the Provo School District, said girls are more likely to tease and gossip than to engage in physical bullying, but boys are more likely overall to engage in all types of bullying, including the more emotional kind. Boys also are more likely to be the target of bullies.

Read entire article here.

By: Heidi Toth, Daily Herald

Technology everywhere: when will we learn?

Are teenagers too obsessed with their technology? Between cell phones, TV, MP3 players, video games and Facebook, when do teens have time for actual socializing?

It seems that teens' technology has become their lifeline. If someone were to take away their cellphone, it would be like taking away their oxygen.

As sad as it is, for some teens, it is an addiction.

If a teen goes to visit a friend or family member, you can almost guarantee that they will be pulling out their phone to text someone about something while visiting. This is kind of sad because it seems that teens are saying, "Yeah, I'll hang out with you, but I really would rather be with this person."

Another sad thing is that teens spend more time chatting on Facebook with their 650 "friends" than they do having a face-to-face conversation with a friend in real life.

An added problem is that most teenagers will have at least one ear bud in their ear at all times whether they are at school (and the teacher is talking) or at a performance. It's as if teenagers need a piece of technology with them at all times or else they suffer.

I am not saying that we should get rid of technology or even ban it from school; I simply think that teenagers need to understand that there is a time and a place for technology. As one veteran Regina mom who has raised three teens, comments, "With all of today's modern communication technology, youth are missing out on opportunities to have real and deep relationships."

Teenagers should be able to put down their cellphones and leave the MP3 player at home to spend some quality time with family and friends. Talk, play a game, go for a walk, do something enjoyable without technology. Teens need to put away the gadgets before it's too late and they end up staying in their own little technological world with no outside interactions.

by: Jillian Stewart, Leader-post

New iPhone app aimed at getting help to troubled teens

Kids may not come with user manuals, but a just-released technology-driven tool aims to make it easier to find help for hurt and troubled teenagers.

The process — recognizing a problem, identifying the causes and ultimately finding help — can be a complex puzzle for adults unfamiliar with the pressures teens face at middle and high schools and the resources available to help.

That dilemma begged an obvious question: “How can we put a tool in the hands of all those people?” said Eric Nidiffer, vice president of Turning Point Experience, a Las Vegas-based nonprofit organization dedicated to helping students avoid destructive influences in their lives.

For the past 10 months, father-son duo William and Eric Nidiffer have been working with the Southern Nevada Community Gang Task Force to produce that tool — a comprehensive iPhone application designed to educate adults about the top 20 issues teens face and provide them with the resources for finding help.

Read entire article here.

By Jackie Valley, www.lasvegassun.com

Experts warn of pitfalls teens face on social networking sites

A photo or snippet of information posted to a social networking site such as Facebook can become a digital first-impression of a person, and for some young people, it’s not a good one, an expert on cyberbullying said.

To make his point, Sameer Hinduja, co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center, flashed a series of photos publicly displayed on Facebook of teens drinking, doing drugs and engaging in other questionable behavior.

“It’d be nice if I sat down with any of these kids and had a chat with them and got a feel for their integrity and their character,” said Hinduja, keynote speaker at a forum on cyberbullying, sexting and social network privacy.

“But we live in a society where we don’t take the time to do that. What we do is Google you...and make a snap judgment about you,” Hinduja said.

The Anti-Defamation League and Henderson Libraries hosted The ABCs of Cyberbullying panel discussion on Wednesday at the Paseo Verde Library.

Read entire article.

By: Rich Coleman, www.lasvegassun.com

Demi Lovato's Treatment Sheds Light On Teen Issues, Expert Says

Now that Demi Lovato has entered a treatment facility to deal with "emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time," her public struggle is shedding light on a whole range of issues that many teenage girls face. Lovato has been open in the past about the pressure she's under, including her self-esteem issues and constant media scrutiny.

Dr. Dorian Traube, assistant professor at the University of Southern California's School of Social Work, spoke to MTV News about the advice she has for young people who might be going through a similarly difficult time.

"Well, I think regardless to whether the bullying contributed to what sent her to seek treatment, she's in treatment because she's having issues related to self-esteem and mental health, and all of that makes you feel lonely," she explained. "So I think it's important for young women or teens to realize that it is important to find an environment in which they feel like they excel and treated with respect and that they have a good cadre of friends around them."

Read entire article here.

-By: Jocelyn Vena, mtv.com

Teen Binge Drinking LInked to Attention Problems

Teens who binge drink may be more likely to experience problems with attention as well as making decisions and carrying them out (executive function), a study shows.

The study, published in Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, also shows that teens who smoke marijuana tend to have trouble with their memory.

Substance abuse during the adolescent years can have significant lifelong consequences on the developing brain. "Both animal models and observational studies in humans suggest that binge drinking during adolescence alters normal developmental processes in a way that negatively impacts learning and social adjustment into adulthood," says study researcher Robert J. Thoma, PhD, a psychiatrist at the Center for Neuropsychological Services of the University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, in an email.

"On one hand, the adolescents in our study were functioning largely within the normal range on cognitive tests, [but] it is likely that they are under-performing on many of these tasks relative to their ability before initiation of binge drinking," he says.

"Consistent under-performance in school could shift an adolescent’s trajectory of educational attainment, thereby affecting subsequent job placement and socioeconomic status," he says.

Read entire article here.

-Denise Mann, Webmd.com

Christian Parenting Advice on Classifying Drugs Your Teenager Uses

The main reason I write all the articles I do on teenage drug abuse is because of my own drug abuse problem as a teenager and even young adult. You could say I used more drugs than not. I say this not to glorify it in any way but to say I know of the damage because I use to be there. I have some understanding of the issue and effects of certain drugs.

For instance, when I was growing up we would pick and choose the drug we would use depending on the activity we were going to engage in. Because we knew that different drugs would produce different results.

Even as a parent we might find ourselves responding differently to the knowledge of the type of drug our teenager is using. You would feel better if your child is smoking dope instead of shooting up heroin. Because of the stigma and effects of each drug. We would probably not even bat an eye if we knew our child went and got drunk somewhere?

Read entire article here.

-Phil Longmire

Parents face tough choices when child seems in trouble

One of the most difficult things for parents of teenagers who are thinking about hurting themselves to face is that sometimes right before a troubled teen tries to take his life, he or she might seem to be getting better.

"For teens in particular, a sudden cheerfulness after a period of depression may be a threat that they're going to take their life," Debbie Helms, program director for the Samaritans of Merrimack Valley, said. "There's an energy and period of clear thinking because they've already made the decision to kill themselves."

Yvonne Vissing, associate professor of sociology at Salem State University and director of the university's center for Child Studies, said that's one of the aspects of teen suicide that's particularly confusing - and torubling - for families.

"One thing is when people are very depressed that's not usually when an attempt will happen," Vissing said. "It's usually when a person is feeling better."

Saugus High School senior Felix Sacco jumped off an overpass last week in Saugus after leaving school in what police are calling a suicide.

Helms said although there are exceptions, most teens who commit suicide do so after suffering from "an underlying mental-health issue." "Suicides rarely occur because of one thing that happens in someone's life," Helms said.

Read entire article here.

By: Jeff McMenemy/The Daily Item

Christian Parenting Advice – Co-Dependency With Teen Drug Abuse

After portion for over 10 years as a priest we have to contend which there is usually as most dysfunctions as good as masks which we wear in a church as people do outward a church. we consider we usually sense to censor them improved upon Sunday Morning.

But what happens when we wear those masks as good as do not understanding with a issues during hand, is which we find ourselves essentially apropos as good as vital as co-dependents to a teenagers. We find ourselves stealing as good as masking a dysfunction, hurts, pain, as good as annoyance which comes with a teenagers wrong meditative as good as behaving.

I am not certain if we know this or not though co-dependency is essentially a schooled behavior. You can essentially pass it down from a single era to another, all a time training those which we lift how to duty as good as live in a habituated relationship.

When a primogenitor lives in a habituated attribute with their teenager who is abusing drug it not usually affects both parents, though siblings as well. It has a mortal settlement which plays out via a complete house. It shows as good as allows those who have been harming a family to live any approach they wish whilst dire in upon those who have been not abusing drugs, over compensating upon parenting so which they themselves do not go down a same path.

Some examples of dysfunctional family groups with teenagers who have been regulating drug competence not admit which problems exist. The family will not speak about them or confront them. As a result, family members sense to restrain emotions as good as negligence their own needs. They turn “survivors.”

Read more.

-Phill Longmire

Co-Dependency with Teen Drug Abuse

In the first рοrtіοn οf this series I talked about the danger οf living іח a co-dependent relationship with уοur teenager who іѕ using drugs. In this раrt οf the series I want tο talk a little about what that relationship looks like and how іt plays out in the family when you have a teenager who іѕ using drugs.

Sοmе mау not even know that they аrе in a co-dependent relationship with their teenagers who аrе using drugs. Fοr instance I’m the leader in a recovery program. When wе wеrе starting the recovery program a man approached mе tο let mе know how he responded tο the use οf drugs with his own teenager.

Hе told mе that he would mаkе his home a safe environment fοr his teenager and their friends tο come and hang out and get it out οf their system. Keep in mind this wаѕ a leader in the local church and wаѕ telling mе this аѕ wе wеrе promoting a Celebrate Recovery program.

Aѕ I stated in the first series, co-dependency іѕ actually a learned behavior. You can actually pass іt down frοm one generation tο another, constantly teaching those that you raise how tο function and live in a co-dependent relationship. This man wаѕ teaching his son how tο not only live in a co-dependent relationship but hοw tο raise his own kids in a co-dependent relationship.

The first thing you need tο do іѕ аѕk yourself…аm I living іn denial? Read entire article

-www.methdrugaddiction.com

What's A Parent to Think About... Teens Substance Abuse?

Many parents may think back to their teen years, and consider "experimenting" with substances (tobacco, alcohol, marijuana) as a harmless rite of passage. These days, however, scientists would not agree with that.

It's becoming very clear that early use of substances can lead to a number of poor outcomes for youth- and can adversely affect their development well into adulthood. Consider these three points:

*First, the earlier youths start expimenting with substances, the more likely they are to progress to higher, more problematic levels of use, both in adolescence and adulthood. In particular, early onset is a strong predictor of eventual substance use disorders and dependence. Keep in mind that use of any substance is a risk for use of other substances- such that, for example, early smoking can predict eventual alcohol abuse.

*Second, contrary to prior thinking on the topic, new research suggests that youths who start using substances at an early age can rapidly escalate their use during their teen years. How rapid? Recent articles have shown that teens can develop a substance-use disorder within three years of their first experiences.

*Third, early use of substances is predictive of a host of other serious outcomes, both in adolescence and into adulthood. These include risk for early pregnancy, herpes infection, crime and suicide attempts. It's important to keep in mind that these risks are present even for youths who do not have psychological problems when they start using stubstances.

Read entire article here.

-By Richard Rende, Ph.D, http://www.southcoasttoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100916/LIFE/100919946/-1/NEWSMAP

Teens who drink at home drink more

A new study published in the latest edition of the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs concludes that teenagers who drink with their parents tend to drink more. The study included more than 400 families with two teenagers between the ages of 13 and 15. The researchers found a positive correlation between the amount that teens drink at home and the amount they drink when they aren’t home.

Some parents have asserted that they would rather have their teen drink at home where they can keep an eye on them.

Instead, the study seems to support the opposing view that teens who see good behavior modeled in the home (limited and responsible adult-only drinking in this case) will learn that same behavior. Researchers found that teens who drank in the home tended to drink more in public. The reverse was also true. The more teens drank outside the home, the more likely they were to drink in the home. The study also reports that teens who drank more often tended to score higher on measures of problem behaviors two years later.

Read entire article here.

-By Crystal Ladwig, www.examiner.com

Teen night owls: 2 wired 2 sleep

Lots of teens are into vampires these days. Many more of them seem to be keeping vampire hours.

Take Alexa McGill, who has a very modern way of falling asleep. She does it while texting.

"Usually I'll wake up in the middle of night, reply to the text I fell asleep during, then stay up for a few more hours," said McGill, 16, who lives in Anoka. "Around 5 a.m. I'll try to get a couple more hours of sleep because I have to get up at 7 to get ready for work."

When Sam Humleker of Minneapolis was in 10th grade, he was almost always asleep by 9:30 p.m. Now, two years later, the 18-year-old is up till 1 a.m., texting, Skyping, checking his Gmail, digg.com and Facebook. He tells his mother, Cordelia Anderson, that 1 o'clock in the morning isn't so bad: "Some of my friends are up till 3 a.m.," he said.

Kind of makes the days when Mom or Dad would bust their little night owlets for shining a flashlight on a good book under the covers seem as quaint as a Norman Rockwell painting.

It's a problem that has gotten worse with each new technological temptation to come their way -- especially something as small and easy to slip under a pillow as a cell phone, which can be used for playing video games and Web browsing as well as texting. It's how teens socialize and it's available 24/7, making it hard to tear themselves away from just one more text, just a few more minutes on the Xbox.

The numbers tell the story. Half of adolescents get fewer than eight hours (they actually need nine or more) of sleep on school nights, and only 15 percent of them get adequate sleep, according to a new poll on teens and sleep from the National Sleep Foundation.

Problem behind the problem

-By KRISTIN TILLOTSON, Star Tribune

How to Keep Your Children on the Path

As a parent it can be difficult to naviage the sometimes tumultuous waters. Not only as a Christian do we have the typical parenting issues to get through but we add another dimension to it when our faith becomes involved. Our faith is often what dictates the way we parent, the choices we make and how we raise up our children.

As a Christian parent, however, we have to be careful that we don't make Christianity a list of do's and don'ts. This can be a fine line to walk. There are definitely some standards that come into play which must be abided by. However a standard should be just that. It is a way of living, not a rule.

By nature people don't particularly care for rules. Children may not like rules either but they need them. Rules help to govern. However there is also a time and a place for rules. Living as a Christian is not the time or place. Too many children have the mindset that rules are made for breaking. So if they begin breaking what they consider to be "Christian" rules they could be heading for danger.

Instead, as a parent we should create a lifestyle that influences our
children. I personally don't believe in telling a child the reason they can't do something is because "we are Christians." While being a Christian most certainly may drive our choices and decisions, it is more than that.

What example are we setting for our children?

Read entire article here.

- By: Stephanie Romero, everydaychristian.com

Obesity, Stress, Teen Pregnancy – Top Health Problems for Kids – Getting Worse

Recent national statistics on obesity show the prevalence of childhood obesity leveling off. However, according to a report released today by the University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, public concern about childhood obesity remains high. For the third straight year, childhood obesity is rated the biggest health problem for kids by adults in the United States.

In May 2010, the Poll asked 2,064 adults to rate 20 different health concerns for children living in their communities. The top 10 overall health concerns for U.S. children in 2010 and the percentage of adults who rate each as a “big problem” include:

1. Childhood obesity, 38 percent
2. Drug abuse, 30 percent
3. Smoking, 29 percent
4. Internet safety, 25 percent
5. Stress, 24 percent
6. Bullying, 23 percent
7. Teen pregnancy, 23 percent
8. Child abuse and neglect, 21 percent
9. Alcohol abuse, 20 percent
10. Not enough opportunities for physical activity, 20 percent

Read entire article here.

- University of Michigan Health System

Teen Behavior is Behavior with a Reason

Youth specialist Tim Sanford encourages parents to realize that children
always do things for reasons. He exlains that many times parents don't know the
real reason behind a teen's behavior. He says, "God didn't make us random
beings, so our behavior (even rebellious behavior) is stemming from a
reason.

It's important to get to teh 'itch' (core reason) behind teh 'scratch'
(outward behavior or attitude)." Whether dealing with basic issues such as
respect or complex issues such as at-risk behavior, parents sometimes struggle
to understand the difference between healthy teenage autonomy adn blatant teen
rebellion.

What looks like rebellion may actually be a teen's natural "itch" for
greater independence.

Read more here.

-Pam Woody, www.FocusOnTheFamily.com

Pathological Internet Use Linked to Teen Depression

Teens who use the Internet excessively appear to be more likely to develop depression, according to a study set to appear in the October 2010 issue of Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

Lawrence T. Lam, of the School of Medicine, Sydney, and the University of Notre Dame, Fremantle, Australia and Zi-Wen Peng, of the Ministry of Education and Sun Yat-Sen University, Guangzhou, China studied the relationship between pathological Internet use (defined as uncontrolled or unreasonable levels of usage) and later mental health issues among 1,041 Chinese teens with an average age of 15.

At the beginning of the study, 62 teens (6.2%) were classified as having moderately pathological use of the Internet (based upon a survey designed to identify pathological usage patterns), while 2 (0.2%) were at severe risk. After nine months, the teens were assessed for anxiety and depression. Eight (0.2%) had significant anxiety while 87 (8.4%) had developed depression. Those who had been identified as having pathological Internet use were at about two and half times more risk of having developed depression than those who had not exhibited pathological use. No relationship was observed between pathological Internet use and anxiety, however.

"This result suggests that young people who are initially free of mental health problems but use the Internet pathologically could develop depression as a consequence," said the authors. They further suggest that "a screening program for pathological use of the Internet could...be considered in all high schools to identify individuals at risk for counseling and treatment."

-By Nancy Schimelpfening, Depression Guide, about.com

What Parents Should Know About Teen Suicide

For a teenager to be so unbearably unhappy that he would choose to kill himself is something that's almost too painful for a parent to think about. But with the increasing prevalence of teen suicide, no parent can afford to ignore the possibility. Suicide is now the third leading cause of death for high-school students.
Kids look at this world as being more and more hopeless. They have no answer for their pain and despair, so many are choosing suicide as their solution. When I was in high school-- a school with 3,000 students-- I never knew of any of my peers committing suicide. And even in my work years ago as a director of Young Life, suicide among teh teens in our region was a very unusual event that I rarely heard of.

Fact is, before the 1960's, suicide by adolescents happened only rarely; but today, nearly one in ten teens contemplates suicide, and over 500,000 attempt it each year. While suicide rates for all other ages have dropped, suicides among teens have nearly tripled.

Between the sexes, teen boys are more than four times as likely t ocommit suicide as girls. But girls are known to think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys. The difference is the method; girls attempt suidie by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves, and thankfully most are found in time and rescued. Boys tend to use more lethal methods, such as firearms, hanging, or jumping from heights.

The Warning Signs

By: Mark Gregston, Heartlight Ministries

Teenager Issues Are Parent Issues Too

Becoming a teenager in North America today is not easy. This is with certainty one of the most difficult periods of their lives. Many parents are so used to hearing about how difficult teenagers can be during their passage to adulthood, they simply try to fare with their kids, assuming there’s no merit to these teenager issues. It’s simply a waiting game, ending magically at approximately the age of 21, when the kids somehow acquire common sense and the parents once again have their lovely children back in the fold. If you’re a parent with this perspective, read on to see how important your input is during the adolescent period of development.

If you recall your own teen years, you know that hormonal changes are happening fast and furiously. Some teenagers suffer from wider mood swings than others. Girls begin their menstrual periods, throwing their entire metabolism in a tizzy. Boys begin to exhibit more aggressive behaviors, trying on the macho. This phenomenon exerts perhaps the greatest influence on what are often dismissively referred to as ‘teen issues’.

Read entire post here.

-By Lissa, www.breakyourshackles.com

Hardships and Lessons Return with "Teen Mom"

In order to do the show right, MTV said it decided to partner with The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. According to the non-profit organization, three out of every 10 teenage girls will get pregnant, and 60 percent of them will choose to be a teen mother.

While changing diapers and taking the baby to the park might be part of it, most teens don't recognize that children mean more stress on their relationships, the end of their social lives and a whole host of challenges. The organization belives so strongly in the message and tone of the show and "16 and Pregnant" that it distributes episodes of "16 and Pregnant" to sex-education programs to use for educational purposes.

"There's no way that you can watch 'Teen Mom' and think this is easy or glamorous as a young person," said Amy Kramer, director of entertainment media for the National Campaign to Prevent Teenage and Unplanned Pregnancy. "Especially as a teenager, you have a lot of stuff going on that has to take a backseat when you have a child."

Both "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" focus on the pro-life choices of the
mothers. While most decide to keep their babies, some, like Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, decide to give their daughter up for adoption.

"The overarching message of this show is that once there's a pregnancy, all roads ahead are hard," Kramer explained. "Even if you have super supportive paretns like Maci or if you chose adoption, all of these are really, really
hard. This show has the potential to show in devastating clarity how important it is to prevent a preganncy in the first place."

Read entire article here.

-By Michelle Castillo, Todayshow.com

Body-image pressure inundates teen girls

The standardized image is pasted all over the mass mesia. Whether it's
Hollywood, the runway or glossy magazines, the message is clear: Look like this
and be sexy.

"This" for women is often a rail-thin size zero. Tyra Banks, a model who
has gained weight sincer her Sports Illustrated cover days, recently found
herself defending her shape on national television and in People magazine.

"I get so much mail from young girls who say, 'I look up to you, you're not
as skinny as everyone else, I think you're beautiful,' " she told People. "So
when they say that my body is 'ugly' and 'disgusting,' what does that make those
girls feel like?"

Body image is one reflection of how we perceive ourselves. Girls are three
times more likely than boys to have a negative body image, according to the
National Mental Health Information Center.

Catherine Hill, research director for the American Association of
University Women Educational Foundation, says it shouldn't be surprising that
middle-school girls are so concerned with their body image. What is
disheartening, she says, is that it overtakes other aspects of their lives. The
expectations can be overwhelming.

Read entire article here.

-By Latha Erickson, CNN

Everyone warns parents about the drama of the teen years—the self-righteous tears, slamming doors, inexplicable fashion choices, appalling romances.

But what happens when typical teen angst starts to look like something much darker and more troubling? How can parents tell if a moody teenager is simply normal—or is spinning out of control? This may be one of the most difficult dilemmas parents will ever face.

Studies show that about 20% of teenagers have a psychiatric illness with depression, anxiety and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder being among the most prevalent. Yet parents of teens are often blind-sided by a child's mental illness. Some are unaware that mental illnesses typically appear for the first time during adolescence. Or they may confuse the symptoms of an actual disorder with more normal teen moodiness or anxiety.

Read entire article here.

-www.wsj.com

How To Help Your Teenagers Stay Healthy: Mental Health

Many mental health problems begin during the teenage years, probably because it is such a difficult time. Teenagers deal with the daily stress of school, peer pressure, and relationships. They have the added stress of exams, learning to drive and getting their license, and impending college decisions. For some, there are also jobs and first monthly bills, like car insurance or cell phones. When combined with the day-to-day stress of home and family life, it can be overwhelming.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your teenagers stay mentally healthy.

Stay connected. It is easy for parents and teens to drift apart, sometimes living in almost different worlds. Make an effort to stay connected to your teen. If you know what is happening in their lives, you can spot warning signals that your teen is having problems.

Maintain communication. Keep communication lines open with your teen. While he or she may not always want to talk, they need to know they can talk to you. If you put your teen off, constantly interrupt, or belittle what he or she is saying, then your teen will be less likely to talk to you about the important issues in his or her life.

Try to understand. Although your teenage years may seem like a long time ago, you can remember what it was like to be that age. Take a moment to think about what it was like to be a teenager. Instead of belittling your teen’s issues, or pointing out how small their problems are compared to those of your adult life, try to understand what it is like to be a teenager facing the issues a teenager faces.

Read entire article here.

-business44.com

Anorexia in Teens: Warning Signs of Anorexia

Anorexia can turn into a severe health issue and may even lead to potential death. It cannot be ignored and many teens hide eating disorders for several months, till their parents notice it. Parents should understand the consequences of anorexia and should look out for the warning signs which indicate eating disorders in teens.

Warning Signs:

•Warning signs of the anorexia are very evident in a teen. The common symptom of anorexia is the sudden gain or drop of weight, which is an indicator of a serious problem.
•Teens with anorexia will have an obsession with the calories and they limit the intake of food. This is another sign of eating disorders and teens avoid food which is rich in calories, because of fear of gaining weight.
•Teens tend to use medicines in order to keep them away from gaining weight. Parents should have a check over their teens who have signs like these.
•Teens tend to either skip meals or there will be a decrease in their appetite. They will give all kinds of reasons and explanations for not being hungry and to hide the eating disorders.
•Teens suffering from anorexia tend to faint frequently. Obsession with exercise or over-exercising is another major sign of the eating disorders. In girls, not having their periods is a major indication of anorexia.
•Most of the teens suffering from the eating disorders make excuses for increased weights and weight loss or weight fluctuations.
•Teens suffering from anorexia have trouble in expressing their feelings or they simply brush off the concern others show regarding their health. They are always moody and their levels of anger and agitation are very high.
•Girls often feel cold even if the temperature is quite normal, when they are suffering from anorexia. To cover this up they wear dresses in layers to keep themselves warm. Losing hair is another warning sign of anorexia.
•Anorexia requires professional treatment and may also involve psychological help, medical monitoring and nutritional feeding. Consult a doctor if you fear that your child is suffering from anorexia.

-www.teenhealthline.com

Parent Help for Raising Children

There are no perfect parents nor can most parents say they are experts when it comes to discipline. No one has the answers for your specific questions unless they are walking in your shoes and closely following God's guidance. And because another person on earth will not and does not do that, it is up to you, the parent, to figure out your parental journey.

One way to help you navigate the parental road is to read books related to your specific needs. Reading too many may overwhelm you so choose a few and really dig in. Use a highlighter or sticky tabs if it is something you think you'll need to read again so you can find it quicker. There's nothing worse than knowing you've read something somewhere but can not find it when you need it.

Open up and talk to friends about your specific parenting issues. Most likely you'll be pleasantly surprised to know they can relate. Ask about books that have helped them and then search for one that's specific to you.

Here is a small list to get you started:

• Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Instructing a Child’s Heart
• Dare to Discipline, The Strong Willed Child, Bringing up Boys, Bringing up Girls
• Parenting is Heart Work
• Good and Angry
• Tools 4 Teens- a book for Teens

Most of all, be sure to go straight to God’s Word and soak in what He is saying to YOU as a parent. We can read wonderful sites and books, but ultimately we need to be going to THE BOOK for our final advice. Proverbs is a wonderful book with very easy-to-read, practical parenting advice!

Proverbs 22:6… "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Is Your Teen Using Drugs?

In areas all around the world, illegal drug substances have caused a tremendous amount of problems for a large number of families. What makes it even worse, is that drugs have also become a problem that more and more teenagers are getting involved in every single year. This can be very frustrating and frightening for parents that suspect their teen may be using drugs because chances are, their child is not going to come straight out and tell them they are. A perfect answer to find the answers to this dilemma is to have an expert recover deleted text from your teenager's cell phone. Most people simply erase any text that they do not want anyone else to find, adn they are completely unaware that the data can still be recovered.

Cell phone forensic investigations have made it possible for parents to easily be able to find out exactly what their teenagers are doing at times they think that their parents have no clue as to what is going on. When you suspect that your child is dabbling in illegal drug substances or other things that they should not be messing with, all you have to do is contact an expert that knows how to recover deleted text from the cell phone that your teen uses.

Read entire article here.

-Ed Opperman, www.articlesbase.com

Understanding Eating Disorders: What is an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders are very common among the teens. Teens facing eating disorders often tend to put on weight all of a sudden. They often tend to skip their meal and they tend to vomit if they eat anything.

They even feel sick if they try eating more then usual. Teens suffering from eating disorders feel exhausted, fatigued and irritable. They fall sick and suffer terribly from stomach cramps.

Weight obsession is a serious problem for the eating disorders and millions of teens suffer this especially girls.

Out of every seven women are struggling from eating disorder at any given time. According to a survey by Youth Risk in 2003, 36% of the teen girls were overweight while 59% of them were trying to loose weight. More than 90% of the teenage girls have an eating disorder.

What is an Eating Disorder: read here

-www.teenhealthline.com

Cyber Bullying Illegal: Mass. Governor Signs Landmark Anti-Bullying Law

The governor of Massachusetts has signed a bill designed to crack down on school bullies and require teachers to report bullying to principals.

Gov. Deval Patrick signed the bill Monday. It had been passed after the suicides of two students who were said to be victims of intense harassment.

Sirdeaner Walker, of Springfield, called the bill a watershed moment. Her 11-year-old son, Carl Walker-Hoover, hanged himself at home last year. Walker said he had been tormented by classmates.

In January, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince killed herself after allegedly being bullied at South Hadley High School. Several classmates have pleaded not guilty after being charged with various crimes in connection with her death.

The new law prohibits bullying on school property and outlaws cyberbullying.

The Department of Education reports that 25 percent of American students say they were bullied at least once a day. States have tried to address the issue by mandating their school districts adopt anti-bullying initiatives, CBS News correspondent Bianca Solorzano reported in a story featuring Sirdeaner Walker last month.

CBS News has identified 10 other students ages 13 to as young as nine years old who were bullied and committed suicide in the last 12 months. Suicide is so rare among children that young the CDC doesn't even consistently track the numbers.

Yale professor Young-Shin Kim has done research on what's been termed "bullycide" and has found that victims of bullying are 5.6 times more at risk of attempting or thinking about suicide.

"I want Carl's legacy to be not that he was 11 years old and he committed suicide," Walker said. "I want Carl's legacy to be we've enacted laws to protect and help all of our children."

-Posted by Edecio Martinez, cbsnews.com

Taking It Easy with Time and Touch

Maybe it's because I just had another birthday. maybe it's because I'm a granddad several times over. Or maybe it's because of a struggling young seminarian I met recently who wishes he had been higher on his parents' priority list than, say, fifth or sixth. He was hurried and ignored through childhood, then tolerated and misunderstood through adolescence, and finally expected to "be a man" without having been taught how.

My words are dedicated to all of you who have the opportunity to make an investment in a growing child so that he or she might someday be whole and healthy, secure and mature. Granted, yours is a tough job. Relentless and thankless . . . at least for now. There is every temptation to escape from the responsibilities that are yours and yours alone. But nobody is better qualified to shape the thinking, to answer the questions, to assist during the struggles, to calm the fears, to administer the discipline, to know the innermost heart, or to love and affirm the life of your offspring than you.

When it comes to "training up the child in the way he should go," you've got the inside lane, Mom and Dad. No teacher or coach, neighbor or friend, no grandparent or sibling, counselor or minister will have the influence on your kid that you are having. So - take it easy! Remember (as Anne Ortlund puts it) "children are wet cement." They take the shape of your mold. They're learning even when you don't think they're watching. And those little guys and gals are plenty smart. They hear tone as well as terms. They read looks as well as books. They figure out motives, even those you think you can hide. They are not fooled, not in the long haul.

The two most important tools of parenting are time and touch. Believe me, both are essential. If you and I hope to release from our nest fairly capable and relatively stable people who can soar and make it on their own, we'll need to pay the price of saying no to many of our own wants and needs in order to interact with our young . . . and we'll have to keep breaking down the distance that only naturally forms as our little people grow up.

Time and touch. nothing new, I realize, yet both remain irreducible minimums when it comes to good parenting. Take it easy! Listen to your boy or girl, look them in the eye, put your arms around them, hug them close, tell them how valuable they are. Don't hold back. Take the time to do it. Reach. Touch.

Don't stand alongside your son or daughter like statues, unable to say what you feel, uncomfortable and distant. Take time to feel, to listen, to hold your child close.

When you are tempted to get involved in some energy-draining, time-consuming opportunity that will only increase the distance between you and yours, stop and think of the unspoken message it will convey. Ask yourself hard questions like, "Could my time be better spent at home?" and "Won't there be similar opportunities in the years to come?" Then turn your attention to your boy or girl. Hold nothing back as you renew acquaintances.
Take it easy!

-Taken from Charles R. Swindoll, The Finishing Touch: Becoming God's Masterpiece (Nashville: Word, 1994), 524-25. Copyright © 1994 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved.
-www.oneplace.com

May is national teen pregnancy prevention month

Bristol Palin makes it look way too easy. She appears on the cover of national magazines with her famous mom and baby. She partners with organizations that encourage teens to practice sexual abstinence.

What are conspicuously absent are the pictures of crying babies who suffer from chronic health issues and their mothers who have dropped out of high school.

While I certainly wish Bristol and Tripp all the best, I’m concerned about the growing trend in teen pregnancy. According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, one third of all young women become pregnant before they reach their 20th birthdays. Eighty percent of these 750,000 pregnancies are unplanned. Seventy-nine percent are to unmarried teens.

Although teen pregnancies declined between 1991 and 2005, they rose for the second straight year in 2007. Teenage birth rates in the United States are high, exceeding those found in most industrialized nations.

Teens and their babies face increased health risks.

Read entire article here.

By Linda Lewis Griffith, St. Louis Tribune

Kyleigh's Law Aims to Protect Teen Drivers

New Jersey will become the first state to require decals on the cars of teen drivers when Kyleigh's Law takes effect on Saturday, and people are split on how they feel about the law.

The new mandate will require all motorists with a permit or provisional license to display a reflective red sticker on their front and back license plates. Not placing the decal on a car of a qualifying driver carries a $100 fine. They are available at $4 per pair and are available at any local motor vehicle agency.

The new law, named after 16-year-old West Morris Central student Kyleigh D'Alessio, aims to cut down on accidents among teen drivers. Donna Weeks, Kyleigh's mother, began lobbying for new legislation when her daughter and another high school student died in a 2006 crash in Washington Township.

Kyleigh's Law targets the most vulnerable of all age groups, teens. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Teen Driver Fact Sheet, "Per mile driven, teen drivers ages 16 to 19 are four times more likely than older drivers to crash." In 2008, 3,500 American teens between the ages of 15 and 19 were killed in motor vehicle crashes.

The law's intent is to cut down on the number of accidents by easing the identification of teen drivers for police officers. It would enable officers to more strictly enforce the restrictions placed on younger motorists. A driver who holds a provisional license may not drive between the hours of 11:01 p.m. and 5 a.m. and is only permitted to drive with a parent, guardian or dependent or one other passenger unless accompanied by a parent or guardian.

Read More...

-By Sam Waters, www.milburn.patch.com

Study: Teens prefer texting to talking

Like previous generations, today's teens seem to be constantly on the
phone. But now they're doing a lot more texting than talking.

One third of teens in the U.S. text more than 100 times a day, according to
a study released Tuesday by Pew Internet and American Life Project.

Based on a survey and focus groups conducted with teenagers between 12 and
17, Pew found that text messaging is by far the most common way that kids
communicate with each other, more than chatting on the phone, e-mailing, using
social-networking sites, or talking face to face.

More than 75 percent of teens now own cell phones, notes Pew, up from just
45 percent in 2004. Around 72 percent of all teens, or 88 percent of teens who
own mobile phones, use text messages to communicate. That marks a big jump from
2006 when only 51 percent of teens texted on their phones.

Read entire article

By: Lance Whitney, http://news.cnet.com

5 Teen Behavior Problems: A Troubleshooting Guide

To be fair, no one has ever pretended that parenting a teenager was going to be easy. Still, until your own kids reach that stage, it's tempting to believe your family will be immune to teen behavior problems. No, you tell yourself, your teenager will never talk back, stay out too late or pierce her eyebrow.

Dream on.

Teenagers are basically hard-wired to butt heads with their parents, says Stuart Goldman, MD, director of psychiatric education at Children's Hospital in Boston. "Adolescence is a time of rapid change for kids both physically and cognitively," he explains. "It's the task of the teenager to fire their parents and then re-hire them years later, but as consultants rather than managers."

But that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. With the right approach, you can troubleshoot the following teen behavior problems in a relatively civilized fashion.

Teen Behavior Problem 1: Your Teen Seems To Hate You

-Read all

By Christina Frank
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Tips for Parenting A Troubled Teen

Teens who are having problems that are causing negative behavior to them is termed as troubled teen. These problems continue to affect them which will stop them to develop into a successful adult.

The problems that the teens are facing are beyond the normal issues. The problems might be related to environment, peer pressure and abusive relationship. These problems can give rise to mental and physical issues in the teens.

Analyze carefully the behavior of the troubled teen. Understand what is happening to the teen before and after the behavior. Once you understand the bad behavior, you can target on undesirable behavior of the teen.

Many times you will find that your teen won’t follow any rule and end up with what they wanted to have. That is why it is important to understand the reason behind the behavior of the troubled teen. Once you are able to understand the reason you can use the specific technique to treat your troubled teen. Behavior modification is the effective technique used for the troubled teen.

Signs of Troubled Teens:-

If you observe that your teen is showing the following signs frequently, it means that you are dealing with a troubled teen. Below are the signs given:-

• You will find that your teen’s grade is falling down.
• You will observe that your teen’s mood swings easily.
• Your teen will feel intense sad
• Your teen will avoid positive friendship
• You will find that your teen has become secretive
• You will find that your teen’s attitude has become defiant
• You will see your teen has become rebellion
• Your teen will find humor when others are distress
• You will observe that your teen spend a lot of time in sleeping

4 Ways to deal with Troubled Teens:-

• Be a supportive parent. Assure your teen that you love him very much. Always be there with your teen whenever he needs you.
• Praise your teen whenever he shows positive behavior. You can also give reward to your teen.
• Set rules for your teens. Give punishment whenever you find that your teen has break the rule. Make rules which are real and practically applicable
• Do not argue with your troubled teen. If you find that your teen is arguing with you, ignore his behavior. Be firm at the same time flexible whenever required.

-parenting.ygoy.com

In the uproar around the suicides of Ms. Prince, 15, and an 11-year-old boy subjected to harassment in nearby Springfield last year, the Massachusetts legislature stepped up work on an anti-bullying law that is now near passage. The law would require school staff members to report suspected incidents and principals to investigate them. It would also demand that schools teach about the dangers of bullying.

Forty-one other states have anti-bullying laws of varying strength.

In the Prince case, two boys and four girls, ages 16 to 18, face a different mix of felony charges that include statutory rape, violation of civil rights with bodily injury, harassment, stalking and disturbing a school assembly. Three younger girls have been charged in juvenile court, Elizabeth D. Scheibel, the Northwestern district attorney, said at a news conference in Northampton, Mass.

Appearing with state and local police officials on Monday, Ms. Scheibel said that Ms. Prince’s suicide came after nearly three months of severe taunting and physical threats by a cluster of fellow students.

“The investigation revealed relentless activities directed toward Phoebe to make it impossible for her to stay at school,” Ms. Scheibel said. The conduct of those charged, she said, “far exceeded the limits of normal teenage relationship-related quarrels.”

It was particularly alarming, the district attorney said, that some teachers, administrators and other staff members at the school were aware of the harassment but did not stop it. “The actions or inactions of some adults at the school were troublesome,” Ms. Scheibel said, but did not violate any laws.

Read entire article here

-By Holly Epstein Ojalvo, nytimes.com

School-Assisted Abortion a Shocking Lesson

Parents of school children in Seattle are learning a shocking lesson, when it comes to some very important decisions they don't have a say. The mother of a 15-year old girl recently discovered that Ballard High School helped her daughter get an abortion and never informed her.

But it doesn't end there. The school can also send children off campus for mental health care and drug addiction treatment without their parents ever knowing. Supporters say the confidentiality allows teens who are too afraid to tell mom and dad to get necessary treatment.

Parents signed consent forms for off-school treatment thinking it was limited to emergency health care when the parents could not be reached. But the teen health clinics at 14 Seattle schools are about much more. They have a full-time registered nurse, counselor and nursing assistant on hand to help kids with more sensitive issues.

When the 15-year old girl's pregnancy was confirmed, they counseled her on the options. The mother says they encouraged her to have an abortion and not tell her parents. She claims her daughter was told that if she informed her parents they would have to pay for the abortion, otherwise it's free.

The teen clinics are administered by the King County Health Department. Officials say school clinic workers are supposed to encourage girls to include their parents in the decision. They will not comment on the specifics of the case.

As for the fact the girl was called a taxi and transported by herself to a clinic to have her abortion then driven back to finish her school day, officials say that's not unusual. They would not say how many girls have been helped to have an abortion.

Washington State is one of thirteen states that does not have either a parental consent or parental notification law. Girls of any age can obtain an abortion without having to tell a parent.

State lawmakers included mental health care and drug counseling on the list of services kids can get without parental notification.

By: Dan Springer, FoxNews.com

How to Build A Relationship with Your Child

Parenting is very challenging, because each child has their own unique needs. The best approach to meeting the needs of each child is to build a relationship with them from the time they are born until they leave this world. You should always consider how your actions will negatively or positively impact the development of the relationship.

Here are 12 steps every parent should consider in building a relationship with their child.

Step 1: Respect
Every parent should Respect their children in front of others regardless of their behavior. This will teach them how to respect you and others. Avoid trying to embarrass them in front of others in an attempt to change the negative behavior. It might work for the short term but long term it will backfire.

Step 2: Effort
It will take great Effort to understand your child especially when they are making wrong choices. When a child makes a wrong choice, take the time to talk with the child to verify why the choice was made. Don’t accept “I don’t know” but avoid getting angry because the door of communication must remain open. They will tell you the reasons for their decision, when they are ready, if the relationship is healthy.

Read Steps 3-12

by Billy J Strawter Sr, christian-parent.com

A Mother Needs Faith, Not Perfection

. . . we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children. We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. . . . ~ 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 (MSG)

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.
They have clung to me all my life. ~ Abrahan Lincoln (1809-1865)

A mom is like the orchestra conductor in the symphony of her daughter's life. Mom, if you tap your baton to the sheet music of Scripture, some amazing things can happen in your daughter' s heart.

Moms have a profound influence on us—for good, or not. Both of us [Doreen and Pam] feel grateful for positive, proactive mothers who cared for each of us and influenced our lives in amazing ways, in spite of their own personal pain or any drama going on in their private lives. Our mothers' influence gave us a heart for serving others and the confidence to lead.

Read entire article.

By: Pam Farrel and Doreen Hanna, crosswalk.com
Raising a Modern-Day Princess

James Dobson signs off, for now

Everything has its season, the Bible says.

For Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, one season will end today. But another will soon begin.

An estimated 200 million people worldwide will tune in Friday to Dobson’s final turn as host of the “Focus on the Family” radio show. After 33 years, Dobson will finally say goodbye to the Colorado Springs-based ministry he founded.

From a modest weekly radio show in a two-room rented office in Arcadia, Calif., it grew into a multimillion-dollar empire, and Dobson grew from an unknown child psychologist to one of the most influential evangelical leaders of our time, advising presidents as casually as he advised moms.

But the send-off has been muted by Dobson’s announcement in December that he’s starting another Christian ministry and radio show similar to the Focus enterprise.
Dobson, 73, has said he formed the new ministry because the traditional family model is breaking down. “I have asked myself how I can sit and watch the world go by without trying to help if I can,” Dobson wrote. “That is what motivates me at this time.”

Dobson and his 39-year-old son, Ryan, both of whom declined to be interviewed for this article, hope to launch their new ministry May 3 with the airing of their co-hosted radio show, “Family Talk With James Dobson.” Dobson has said "Family Talk" was not created to directly compete with Focus on the Family.

-By Mark Barna, gazette.com

Today’s Troubled Teens Need Solutions That Work

In the past people have relied on all sorts of approaches to help kids be able to kick drugs, but in reality drugs have been an issue since ancient times when the drug of choice tended to be alcohol of some form or another. Today, kids face the same temptations as adults, but they are less equipped to be able to handle the threat to their health and well being so it is up to adults to step in and do what we can to help these kids get their lives back into their own hands. Finding a great residential drug treatment center can help pull the teen from the place where they are suffering and give them a new look at life where they can make serious changes and actually affect a difference in their own life. This kind of approach can accomplish a great deal of good and help them to find out who they are outside of drugs or alcohol. This is the very first step to serious healing.

When we are looking at these centers there are all sorts of factors to take in, but the key is to look at the heart of the program or programs being offered to find out what makes the place tick. If we can look into the philosophy of treatments we can get a solid understanding of what the organization is seeking to do for kids and how they intend to help troubled teens turn their lives around and shape behaviors that give them rewards instead of further woes. Starting here is the best approach to choosing the right care for a teen today.

-Qualihits

Drug Rehabs in Houston:

• The Right Step
• Mark Houston Recovery
• Memorial Hermann Prevention and Recovery

Teens may face criminal charges in cyberbullying case

The mom of a frightened 14-year-old Newburyport High freshman said her “heart was just breaking” over the relentless cyberbullying her boy was subjected to by cruel pranksters who now could face criminal charges.

“It has to stop,” said the distraught mom, who alerted police after recovering from the shock.
Three Newburyport teens could face identity theft allegations for setting up a bogus Facebook account where the woman’s unsuspecting son became the target of their cyberhate.

“My heart was just breaking,” said the mom of the Facebook farce.
Her boy ended up eating lunch alone and confronting fellow students flamed by his online alter ego. He became ostracized and even contemplated leaving school, she said.

The boy told the Herald yesterday his alleged tormentors should pay.
“They kind of get what they deserve,” said the 14-year-old. “I would ask them why they did it. I’m just curious as to why they would do something like this and spend so much time.”

A juvenile clerk magistrate will decide the teens’ fates at a closed-door hearing on Tuesday.
“It amounted to cyberbullying,” said Newburyport police Lt. Mark Murray. “The problem is that the cyberbullying law is not put into effect yet.”

Read entire story
-By Laura Crimaldi, BostonHerald.com

Lenient parents seen as part of the problem

The Santa Rosa parents provided a table and counter covered in booze and then left about 50 teens to have at it, including then 13-year-old Zachary Parenti of Sebastopol.

“Everyone was really drunk. Hundreds of dollars of property was destroyed. I drank an entire bottle of Tequila,” said Parenti, now 14, an Analy High School freshman and member of 1-4-1, a teen club at the west Sonoma County high school.

For many teenagers, drinking alcohol is a rite of passage, with partying teens filling Facebook pages with pictures of beer bashes, images reminiscent of dozens of popular movies that have championed a basic theme for decades: “Dude, where's the party?”

But with recent health studies showing the harmful effects of alcohol on the teen brain and the ever-present risk of drinking-related tragedies on the road, parents are trying to figure out what to do about the age-old problem of teen drinking.

And some parents say many parents are part of the problem.

Read entire article.

by: Randi Rossmann

Christian Parenting That Is Not Succeeding

More than any other generation, today's parents are worried sick that they will mess up their children's lives. There is so much fretting that even the backlash has spawned a notable movement and subgenre of its own, the slacker mom.

I find most Christian parents at the front of the line—the anxiety and success line, not the slacker line. Our most consuming concern is that our children "turn out"—that is, that our Christian faith and values are successfully transmitted, and that our children grow up to be churchgoing, God-honoring adults. It appears that many of us are not succeeding.

The exodus of young adults from evangelical churches in the U.S. is well reported, perhaps over-reported and hyper-hyped. If this isn't enough to induce parental panic, another unsettling report came our way in a summer 2008 Newsweek article, "But I Did Everything Right!" Sharon Begley reported that, contrary to the opinions of decades of experts, genetics may have a more potent impact on child development than our own parenting practices.

These scientific findings are not only ultimately hopeful and helpful for parents; more importantly, they also support Scripture in an area that has been plagued with presumption, behaviorism, and wrong thinking for decades.

Many Christian writers and parents have absorbed these values and drifted into what could be called spiritual determinism. We have absorbed the cultural belief in psychological determinism but spiritualized it with Bible verses, and one verse in particular. The result is a Christianized version of the cultural myth. It reads something like this: "Christian parenting techniques produce godly children."

Proverbs 22:6 has been widely adopted as both psychological premise and theological promise, despite the widespread recognition that hermeneutically, the Proverbs are not promises from God, but general observations.... Read more.

By Leslie Leyland Fields, Christianity Today

Teen Suicide Prompts A Look At Bullying

Phoebe Prince’s lilting Irish accent and wide smile made the 15-year-old freshman stand out at South Hadley High School, where she enrolled last fall after her family relocated from a tiny village in the west of Ireland.

Her principal called her smart and charming. A boy invited the new girl to the school’s winter cotillion, a highlight of the school year. But two days before the Jan. 16 dance, Prince died in an apparent suicide, after incessant bullying by classmates at the 700-student high school.

“In a school with that many kids, there are going to be issues,’’ Sergeant Robert Whelihan, a spokesman for the South Hadley Police Department said yesterday. “We are investigating what effects the bullying might have had on the suicide.’’

The bullying included disagreements over teen romances at school, school officials said. And it continued with taunting text messages and harassing postings on Facebook, the popular social networking site.

“The real problem now is the texting stuff and the cyber-bullying,’’ said South Hadley School Superintendent Gus A. Sayer. “Some kids can be very mean towards one another using that medium.’’

Sayer declined to comment on the exact nature of the bullying, but said much of it was done online or by cellphones. Read more.

-Kathy McCabe, boston.com

To Save A Life Movie Opens January 22, 2010

On January 22, 2010 To Save a Life opens in theaters nationwide. This exciting Christian film confronts many teen issues. New Song Pictures gives viewers a touching story that will certainly change the way they see people. The story is inspiring and the way it deals with the issues the characters face is remarkable.

To Save a Life is the story of a teenage boy, Jake (Randy Wayne), who must make the choice to do what is popular or what is right. In the past he made the choice to be popular and it cost him a friend, literally. Now he will not let that happen again. Jake must also decide what he believes as far as God. A youth pastor, Chris (Joshua Weigel), comes into Jake’s path and he has a very unique, but effective way of dealing with the teens. Jake’s faith is tested by many difficulties, but the final outcome is inspirational.

To Save a Life discusses difficult topics such as suicide, cutting, divorce, teen pregnancy, dating, partying, drinking/drugs, depression, abortion, adultery and more. Although it is very tastefully handled, parents and leaders should know. This is a very moving film that will help adults to understand what our teens are facing and teens to see what their actions towards others could be saying.

To Save a Life is a powerful movie. It is a great film for any teen, parent, youth group, etc. I do want to warn there are some topics that might be too mature for younger kids; however most teens are aware of these issues. Please check out the official website www.tosavealifemovie.com to find a theater near you and for resources. Today many teens are faced with issues and situations similar to those discussed in the movie and this film may be just what is needed, to save a life.

-by: Dana Chafin at FamilyChristianMovies.com

The Myth of the Perfect Parent

My family and I were traveling in Guatemala a few years ago. We visited a man who had given his life to serving a poor congregation. We sat at the kitchen table with him, a man who had been bent into humility by the burdens of pastoring in a struggling nation while raising four children.

Still in the muddy trenches of parenthood with our five sons and one daughter, we confessed to him our feelings of inadequacy. "Your children are grown. What have you learned looking back on your years of child-raising? Do you have any advice for us?" We looked at him, needy, expectant.

He would have none of it. "I'm not one to talk to. I don't exactly have a perfect record." One of his children was immersed in an addiction, he told us, visibly sad. Another had a failed marriage.

He was silent for a moment, nodding slowly, and then continued. "I never lived up to my mother's expectations either. I've been reading her journal lately, and I see how she prayed for me, what she prayed. And I've never lived up to what she hoped for me," he said, his voice a near-whisper. "I think she considered me a failure."

Read More

-Leslie Leyland Fields, ChristianityToday.com

Make Family Your New Year Priority

As we begin the New Year it's time for America to face the fact that the modern American family is in crisis. With the pressures of dual careers, often no one is keeping the home fires burning. What families gain with an additional bread-earner, they often pay for with a loss of nurturing.

Many of our nation's children spend more time with an endless flow of randomly-assigned teachers and "care givers" than they do with their own parents. This trend has left children of all ages hungry for the richness and depth of fully developed parent/child relationships.

Family members are often like ships that pass in the night. Many get lost in the fog of a busy life, crash on the reefs of loneliness and end up split apart. Everyone suffers, and children suffer most.

Read entire article

Rebecca Hagelin Author, 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family, crosswalk.com