Helping Teens Take Perspective of the New Year

The teen years can be the most difficult of all years. Think back on your sixth grade through twelfth grade years. What do you remember? Unfortunately our lives are often colored by events that happen to us in our teen years. Maybe you were bullied. Maybe your parents got a divorce. All of life's embarrassing changes happen to our physical bodies during our teen years. And everything tends to be amplified and awkward. How do we help our teens get perspective and make changes for the New Year?

The New Year is a great opportunity to sit down with your teens and reflect on those things - good and bad - that occurred during the year. Grab an old calendar and take it apart, or on a large sheet of butcher paper, draw lines dividing into twelve equal parts. Lay out the year by month in sequential order from January to December. Using various colored pencils or markers, pick a color or group of colors to mark the bad events. Use another color or set of colors to mark the good events. Go through the year, month by month writing down the events. For every bad event that is remembered and marked, the teens need to come up with at least two good events to place on the calendar. For every bad event remembered, have the teens think of at least one good thing that happened because of the bad event.

What the teens will eventually discover is that the good events outweigh the bad and they will actually remember the good, more than the bad.

After that exercise, talk with your teens about the New Year as an opportunity to start over, make a few changes, and make the bad events of the past into good events of the future.

Grab a new calendar for the New Year and start making plans to implement changes and make hopeful plans.

-Jan Sullivan
AprilWord

Jan Sullivan received a Masters Degree in Youth Ministry from Asbury Theological Seminary. She served as a youth pastor for thirteen years in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. She published her first book, Forever Family, in July 2008. Her second, Never Alone, was published in August 2009. She lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her dog Abby and spends her time loving teenagers and consuming Christian fiction. Modeling her life after Christ, the great storyteller, Jan hopes that her stories will lead young people to make decisions to follow Christ.

jan@aprilword.com

http://www.aprilword.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jan_Sullivan

Christmas Gift for Teens

The Christmas holiday will be here before we have a chance to breathe after Thanksgiving. Stores have had their Christmas decorations up for weeks now and parents are gearing up for the dreaded holiday shopping.

Some of the most difficult gifts to buy at Christmas is for teens. With all the gadgets teens want, they may not realize what they need. That's where parents step in.

Why not give your teen something that will help them move through their teen years with Godly insight? A book designed to discuss topics that affect teens daily. A book that gives teens and parents a place to come together to openly discuss some of the difficulties they face.

The book is, Tools4Teens.

Rich in truth, moving in story, profound in content … it’s what you want every teenager to read, reflect and relate to as they attempt to navigate the most turbulent waters of life … the teenage years! With the Spirit of faith, hope and love, Kelly Litvak and Shirley Hanson have assembled more than a book, it is a snapshot of an intersection between the two most important stories in history, God’s story and yours. ~ Jerry Edmonson, Lead Pastor, The Fellowship at Cinco Ranch

Order yours today. It's the easiest gift you'll purchase but the one that will sow seeds that will grow a lifetime.

Teen Pregnancy: A Growing Issue

Despite countless government, religious, and community efforts, teen pregnancy continues to be a growing teen issue. An issue, that some teens, actually think they want.

Post staff writer N.C. Aizenman discusses why two teen sisters from Silver Spring would decide to start trying to get pregnant at ages 14 and 15, and why the teen pregnancy rate for Latinas born in the United States remains stubbornly high.

Read entire aritcle.

N.C. Aizenman

Washington Post staff writer, WashingtonPost.com
Friday, December 11, 2009; 12:30 PM

Helping teens see their potential future may help those teens who think having a baby will give them a life they desire.

Bullying May be Considered a Silent Epidemic

Experts have found that bullying links a rash of suicides by young teens in the United States, reports MNN.

A 2007 report entitled "Health Behavior in School-Aged Children" said, "Being bullied is also associated with poor academic achievement, low self-esteem, problems making friends, loneliness and higher levels of substance use." The report also said that 11 percent of U.S. students reported being the victims of bullies at least twice in the last two months.

Do the numbers mean that bullying could be considered a silent epidemic? What exactly is it? In today's world, it seems like bullying has become more insidious with the advent of the internet, text messaging and social networking sites.

Read entire article.

-ChristianTelegraph.com

10 Tips to Prepare for the 2009 Holiday Season

I can't believe that the 2009 holiday season is upon our doorstep already. For so many people, 2009 has been a roller coaster experience. And some are ready to get off the ride! The economy has impacted everyone, some much more than others. And the impact hasn't just been financial. Attitudes, emotions, plans, and mindsets have all been affected. I have no doubt that this year's recession has resulted in a culture-wide increase in stress and anxiety.

For many of us, the holiday season is a time that is anticipated with both joy and anxiety. Sure, we love the celebrations, the family traditions, and we cherish the memories of holidays gone by; but along with them, we add the stresses of preparation, expectations and the fear of letdowns, or family squabbles that we have experienced in the past. And, this year, the stress and anxiety level is likely to be amplified. With this in mind, here are ten tips I believe can be helpful in getting ready for an enjoyable, meaningful holiday season in 2009.

-Jim Burns, HomeWord, Crosswalk.com

Teen Drug Use

Personally, I don’t think parents of kids today can hear enough about the dangers of drug abuse. It has never been more deadly, and that is not saying it was not deadly years ago, however the access seems to be easier and the peer pressure is growing. When I hear parents tell me their teen is “only smoking pot” it bewilders me that many don’t understand that is the gateway to many other substances for many kids. I won’t say all, but many will start with pot and graduate to meth, crack, and so many others on the streets now. One of the most dangerous, in my opinion, is heroin. Take a few minutes to read a recent article by Connect with Kids about this drug and some parenting tips. Read more.

-Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.)

Teen Rebellion

The topic of teen rebellion usually triggers some kind of emotional response. It can ignite fear in the hearts of parents who have children on the brink of adolescence; it can prompt both defensiveness and despair in the hearts of parents struggling through the teen years; and it can inspire a sigh of relief for parents who now have adult children. Whether your teen is opposing your authority or God's, rebellion is never easy to deal with.

Read entire article.
-Pam Woody, FocusOnTheFamily.com

Helping Teens Make Wise Book Choices

When children are younger parents watch what they read. They may even read everything their child reads to make sure the material is appropriate.

As they grow adults may decide that their teen is old enough to make their own choices when it comes to reading. Perhaps parents of teens should reconsider.

...for many girls in similar positions, Twilight was not just light reading, it was a way of life. They obeyed this book as if it were their Bible. They viewed Edward Cullen as their perfect man, and put themselves in the place of Bella Swan, the leading lady.

I began to worry about girls I knew nothing about. I feared the reality of the world would be an unequivocal shock to them. Teen pregnancy statistics are alarmingly high. While I am not necessarily interested in discussing the pros and cons of abstinence, I cannot help but feel that books such as Meyer’s promote a dangerous naïveté. They prepare many girls for a world they will never know.

Novels such as Twilight explore issues such as teenage relationships and sexuality by not exploring them at all. This don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy provides many students with skewed and narrow views of their society.

How can they deal with hormones and deep emotions if such things are implied to be almost taboo? It is a dark world that we live in, and while I do not believe that teenagers should either be exposed to or protected completely from this, I believe that it is crucial to prepare them.

-How Far is Too Far? Navigating the World of Young Adult Fiction by Beth Greaves

Six Ways to Build Your Teen's Identity

In many ways, American teens have never had it tougher. Perhaps a surprising statement, given the United States' obvious affluence compared to the rest of the world.
If you're a parent today, you know what I mean. Social pressures are more pervasive and destructive than ever before in American history. Parents often feel helpless to equip their teens with the tools to navigate – and steer clear – of harmful relationships, attitudes and behaviors.

Ideally, the process of equipping our kids to live and thrive in an often Christian-hostile world begins as soon as they are born. In fact, parents are the single most important developmental influence in a child's life, apart from the Holy Spirit himself.

But even if time has slipped away, and your teenager seems out of reach, you can begin to lay building blocks to help your teen grow to maturity in Christ and make a positive impact on his or her world. Love, commitment, self-discipline, perseverance and a lot of prayer are required, but you can do it.

Assisting your teen in forging a strong, positive identity is one way to help her form convictions based on truth, and then stand firm in them regardless of what everyone else does.

Read entire article
by: Tiffany Stuart, FocusOnTheFamily.com

Wilderness Therapy Programs Overview

Wilderness therapy programs are often confused with wilderness experience programs. They are extremely different in that wilderness therapy programs treat kids with a variety of behavioral problems, drug and alcohol abuse issues, violent behaviors, truancy, theft, and many more reasons.

Statistics show that most of the teens in these programs are boys between 13 and 15 years of age. However, there are wilderness therapy programs that take in girls and those of all different ages. There are many programs though that are specifically teen boys.

Most wilderness therapy programs offer the same process for treatment. More often than not there is the first phase of getting all of the boys clean of drugs and alcohol physically. Most have staff that are trained to deal with withdrawals and other detoxification issues that may arise.

The second phase is a personal accountability as well as social accountability phase. Generally speaking there will be team building activities where the teens are forced to work together as a group to succeed. During this phase it is crucial to let natural consequences fall into place. If a teen decides not to do a necessary step they may have natural consequences to endure. For instance, if they are in charge of trash items after mealtime and neglect to do their job they may have to deal with wild animals coming into camp. Not only will this scare them but they will take a bit of heat from their peers. This is good in that it helps them realize that most things are not just about them but their choices affect those around them.

In the third phase the teens are taught how to implement what they learned at home and learn coping skills to keep from the temptation of drugs and alcohol use and other at risk behaviors. Some wilderness therapy programs are only three weeks and for those with ongoing or long term addiction problems or long term behavior problems this may not be long enough for them to really learn all that they need to learn for re-entering their home life and social circle at home. All wilderness therapy time frames are different.

These programs are becoming recognized as a great alternative to traditional mental health treatment facilities and they are also talked up because most are much more affordable. It is nice that there are options for family. It is hard to find hard data concerning wilderness therapy programs because they are still quite new and only a limited number of teens get the experience. At last official count there were less than 40 wilderness therapy programs in the United States.

-teenhelp.com

Teens Lack Social Skills

Cell phones can and are a benefit to those who use them responsibly. But more and more teens and adults are using them without the thought of others.

The teen who sends text messages at the dinner table or the adult who talks on the phone during a meeting send an unwritten message to those around him/her... "No one is as important as me."

Our society has become a "me society" and the very things that can keep us connected, are driving us apart. Families who sit around and text and play games but never talk are missing out on family time.

The teens who text instead of talk are missing out on learning how to socially interact face-to-face. When those same teens are in the workforce they will lack the skills necessary to succeed.

An article from wausaudailyherald.com sums it up best:

The reason we have social norms in the first place is simple: They govern how we interact with one another, and they put into place some of the widely accepted rules of consideration for our fellows. Those same considerations ought to apply in our digital world of constant connection. There are times when all of us, president or teenager, simply need to put away our phones.

Read entire article here.

Paying for Troubled Teen Programs

There are many grant programs for troubled children. These are social welfare programs where social services and juvenile authorities team up with local business enterprises or institutions to help youth work for income and learn to live on their own.

Grant programs are State sponsored or sponsored by not for profit groups. Troubled youth are enrolled in the program and given work background and academic training. They are taught things to develop a sense of purpose and self esteem. Marketing, sales, gardening and local community services are some of the many work programs that take in troubled teens to teach them life skills. Troubled adolescents learn to cope with real life work issues and give up their negative thought and habits. Since the work is paid for, these young men and women have an added incentive to join the program. They learn the importance of living a dignified disciplined lifestyle and the value of becoming well adjusted adults with successful careers. These programs enroll teenagers for work after school hours so that their education is not neglected.

Read more...

-www.good-parenting.net

Teen Suicide: 'It's OK to Ask for Help'

When it comes to teen suicide, Bedford County resident Tina Henderson is frustrated with a lack of discussion about the third-highest cause of death for American youths.

"No one wants to talk about it," Henderson said. "I think because there's a stigma attached to it. If your son or daughter dies from an accident or cancer or some other disease, it's OK. But if they take their own life, there must be something wrong with your family or with them."

This month marks the anniversary of her son Eric's passing. Eric died by suicide three weeks before his 14th birthday.

She said rumors began swirling almost immediately.

"People care too much about what other people say," she said. "People look at you differently or at least you feel like they do after you have someone commit suicide."

Henderson spent years traveling the country on behalf of the Bedford County chapter of the Yellow Ribbon International Suicide Prevention Program, whose singular goal is to prevent more deaths like Eric's.

While she was well-received in places as far away as Wisconsin and in other counties across the state, Henderson couldn't get any interest locally. The program dispenses cards that people who are thinking about suicide can hand to someone to get them help, when they can't speak about the issue.

"We were on national TV talking about it, but we can't talk about it here," Henderson said.

She has since closed the local chapter, although she still comes across suicide attempts through her work in an emergency room. Her co-workers know to pass those patients to Henderson.

"I want to talk to them," she said. "I'm just trying to tell them it's OK to ask for help."

The Yellow Ribbon program was founded after the 1994 death by suicide of 17-year-old Mike Emme. Despite pulling another teenage friend out of suicidal thoughts just days before, Mike killed himself after a difficult break-up.

More than half of the 180 chapters around the world were formed by family members of suicide victims.

Read more...

-By Wendy McCardle, www.altoonamirror.com

Troubled teens reveal social divide

Today’s teens are most worried about losing weight and fitting in. But more teenagers from low income families worry about bullying, drugs, and smoking compared to peers from high income families. Surveys for NHS Teen LifeCheck published today reveal social similarities and divides on some of the top teenage concerns.

Of the teenagers surveyed, almost double the number of teens from low income families worried about bullying. However, teens from higher income families are more likely to worry about peer pressure and fitting in.

The research was undertaken for the NHS Teen LifeCheck website on behalf of the Department of Health. This online service - www.teenlifecheck.co.uk - is aimed at teens with the highest risk of future ill health caused by their lifestyle choices. The website encourages them to complete its quiz and act on the results, and signposts people to support for issues like bullying.

-www.nursinginpractice.com

Teen is Burdened by Parents' Divorce

Unfortunately, divorce has become a topic that is woven into every aspect of society. If someone in your family has not been divorced, a friend or coworker has.

Children and teens deal with all kinds of emotions toward each parent as seen by the Question and Answer below:

Q. My parents are going through a divorce. I have a lot of anger toward my dad because he packed up and left us while Mom and I were out of town. Also, it’s pretty obvious he has a girlfriend. He won’t answer any of my calls or take responsibility for what he’s done.

I’m also angry with my mother because she’s constantly bringing up Dad every five minutes and it’s frustrating. I want to get through this, but Mom won’t let go. I understand it’s hard for her, but she doesn’t even try.

I’m 17 years old and have enough problems to deal with. How can I get past this whole ordeal, forgive my dad, help my mom, and make her realize she shouldn’t be talking to me about her problems?

A. It is normal for you to be angry and upset. Your father is behaving selfishly, and your mother is leaning on you for emotional support. It will help if you can talk to someone about your situation, perhaps your school counselor, a favorite teacher, an adult relative, or the parent of a friend.

In time, you will forgive your father because you sound smart enough to understand that it will help you move forward. You also can tell your mother that you know she is hurting and ask her to please vent to a professional. It would be better for both of you.

-www.boston.com

Tips for Parenting Teens

Adolescence is a fascinating and crazy time of life. It reminds me in some ways of the very early space probes that blasted off from Cape Canaveral in Florida. I remember my excitement when Col. John Glenn and the other astronauts embarked on their perilous journeys into space. It was a thrilling time to be an American.

People who lived through those years will recall that a period of maximum danger occurred as each spacecraft was re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The flier inside was entirely dependent on the heat shield on the bottom of the capsule to protect him from temperatures in excess of 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit. If the craft descended at the wrong angle, the astronaut would be burned to cinders.

At that precise moment of anxiety, negative ions would accumulate around the capsule and prevent all communication with the earth for approximately seven minutes. The world waited breathlessly for news of the astronaut's safety. Presently, the reassuring voice of Chris Craft would break in to say, "This is Mission Control. We have made contact with Friendship Seven. Everything is A-okay. Splashdown is imminent." Cheers and prayers went up in restaurants, banks, airports and millions of homes across the country. Even Walter Cronkite seemed relieved.

The analogy to adolescence is not so difficult to recognize. After the training and preparation of childhood are over, a pubescent youngster marches out to the launching pad. His parents watch apprehensively as he climbs aboard a capsule called adolescence and waits for his rockets to fire. His father and mother wish they could go with him, but there is room for just one person in the spacecraft. Besides, nobody invited them. Without warning, the mighty rocket engines begin to roar and the "umbilical cord" falls away. "Liftoff! We have liftoff!" screams the boy's father.

Junior, who was a baby only yesterday, is on his way to the edge of the universe. A few weeks later...

Read More

-Dr. James Dobson, Focus on The Family

Teens' School Questions Answered

This week school bells will be ringing in many area districts. That means anxious students fretting about their wardrobes, school dances, social issues and homework.

To help ease some of their worries, we asked Angela Brace, a counselor specializing in issues dealing with children and adolescents at Kent's Counseling for Wellness, to answer inquiries from local students.

The questions are from members of the Beacon Journal's Teen Group, a team of 12- to 19-year-olds who are helping us define and tell stories affecting teens.

The following queries are from those entering middle school, high school and college:

Read More

-By Kim Hone-McMahan, Beacon Journal staff writer

Back to school: Stressing Over a New School?

Does “back to school” mean a new school to one of your teens or preteens? This is a stress for everyone, not just your teen.

Depending on how many of your teens friends are going to advance to the same school, or how social your teen is, makes the world of difference on how they will get on.

The stress of a new school can be major, but it’s not something that cannot be dealt with. First...

Read more

-By: Richard Hills, examiner.com

Methadone: The latest teen threat

The last thing 15-year-old Austin Riley Jones told his mother was “good night” and that he loved her.

“I love you, too, Bubba,” Cathy Bandoni told her son, who had spent the day cleaning to raise $20 to take his girlfriend to the movies and then had dinner with his parents.

But the next morning, Jan. 18, Austin did not wake up. Bandoni and her husband, Davy Jones, discovered their only son died in his sleep of a methadone overdose.

Austin’s parents have teamed up with local anti-drug coalition members to warn the public about the dangers of methadone — a prescription painkiller that authorities say is cheap, accessible and increasingly has been causing fatal overdoses.

Local drug abuse task force officials will be meeting Monday to discuss ideas for a public anti-methadone abuse campaign that will also extend throughout the school district. They are hoping it will be as successful as the recent anti-methamphetamine efforts in Washoe County that authorities say contributed to a decline in its use.

Bandoni and Jones learned that the two tiny methadone pills their 6-foot, 200-pound son took after a party the night before created a deadly combination with his routine depression medication.

Washoe County Medical Examiner Dr. Ellen Clark ruled Austin’s death accidental and found that he died of acute combined methadone and fluoxetine intoxication. He had a prescription for the latter drug. Clark described him in her autopsy report as a “naive user,” meaning that deadly dose likely was his first time trying it.

“Our son died on two methadone tablets,” Bandoni said. “He didn’t know what he was getting himself into. This is just so shocking. I never thought in a million years this would happen to us.”

“It wasn’t a handful of pills he took, he took two and was just experimenting,” said Jones, who memorialized his son by having a tattoo of his face etched into his arm. “It’s insane. There is no forgiveness to this drug. It’s deadly. Austin had the whole world in front of him.”

Sgt. Mac Venzon, who heads the regional Street Enforcement Team, which targets drug and prostitution activity, said more local youths are experimenting with prescription drugs in general and believe they are safer than drugs purchased on the street.

Read entire article

-By Jaclyn O'Malley

Teens will face driving test, extra restrictions in September

A new state law that goes into effect Sept. 1 will require all new drivers younger than age of 21 to pass the state driving exam, reinstating a policy the state ended in 1995.

If teens are issued their learner’s permit by Aug. 31, they don’t have to take the driving test.

The law, H.B. 339, also requires students enrolled in a driver’s ed course to have 20 more hours of behind-the-wheel practice before being issued a license. This means 34 hours of driving practice instead of 14 to pass the course.

In addition, the law will extend the restrictions on provisional licenses, which are issued to teens who have held a learner’s permit for six months, from six months to one year. Restrictions include banning teens from driving with more than one passenger younger than age 21 or from driving between the hours of 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. except for work, school-related activities or emergency situations.

Edith Galan, 16, of Waco High School, does not have her license yet. She said she had not decided whether she would take driver’s ed or simply take the driving test.

“I don’t know what to think of that, if it’s a good or bad thing (to have to take the driving test),” Edith said.

State officials think the changes will improve teens’ safety on the road. The number of fatal car crashes in which teenagers were the drivers decreased by 32.9 percent from 2002 to 2007, according to a new study released by the Texas Transportation Institute, part of the Texas A&M University System.

-By Regina Dennis Tribune-Herald staff writer

Read more

Read More

A Teacher's View of Cell Phones at School

I originally posted this as a comment in a parenting diary, but with back-to-school just around the corner, I thought it might contain a few useful considerations for a broader audience.

First off, I’m not only a teacher, but also a Mom with a 13 yo son. He "has" a cell phone, albeit it is an AT&T Go Phone without email, txt msging, or camera, and it lives in the kitchen cupboard, and it only gets handed out on an as-needed basis (e.g. He’s away from home in FL, on a band trip).

Why have we as parents decided to be so restrictive with this modern-day, wonderful piece of technology?

If you are going back and forth about whether to give or not to give a cell phone to your child as part of their back-to-school accouterments, I’ve provided a list of some things to consider or at least be aware of.

-by: BKAMR, www.dailykos.com

Anorexic Teen's Tragic Death

Jessica MacMillan seemed to have everything to live for but she hid a dark secret.

Beautiful, with a bright future, the 19-year-old psychology student from West Pennant Hills had many friends and had just begun dating her first boyfriend.

But for seven years, she had been battling anorexia nervosa.

After she took her own life on June 13, Jessica's family decided they did not want her death to be in vain.

They have organized a walkathon on Saturday to raise money and awareness for an eating disorder charity, the Butterfly Foundation.

Jessica was diagnosed with the illness when she was 12, after having problems adjusting to the transition from primary to high school, her mother Jo said.

"Jessica's always been tiny - people used to say to her, `You're so lucky', because she could eat two Quarter Pounders and never put on any weight," Mrs Macmillan said.

"She felt the only way she was going to be accepted was by keeping thin."

Read More

Stories like Jessica's happen more often than we'd like to think. Teens struggle with all kinds of self-esteem issues that can eventually take over and even end their lives. Recognizing signs early and knowing treatment options can be of help if your teen happens to struggle with an eating disorder.

The Problems Teenagers Face

The transition from adolescence to adulthood is one of the most difficult periods in a teenager’s life.

The problems teenagers face today are daunting indeed. While peer pressure and cliques have been negative influences for decades, there are some new elements which are frightening, both for teens and parents.

When you put it all together, it is hard to know how to manage and help overcome these challenging problems teenagers face in the modern world.

Here we take a look, point by point, at six major elements and how to help teens get through this stressful, dangerous period.

-www.moreinformationon.com

Keep Your Teen from Getting Bored this Summer by Organizing Their Time

Teens are always on the go in the fast paced setting the school year. Taking a break over the summer to many teens means slacking off and sleeping in.

When a teen goes from this go, go, go pace to nothing, it’s okay for a day or two, but then they get bored and parents pay the consequences. A bored teen is an annoying teen or worse, one who finds trouble.

The easiest way to stop your teen from getting bored is to schedule out his/her summer days so that he/she knows what is going to happen and can pick and choose what he/she wants to do by learning to make choices.

Read More

-written by: Denise Witmer, About.com

Letting Go of Your Teen

The most common mistake made by parents of older teenagers (16 to 19 years of age) is refusing to grant them the independence and maturity they require.

Our inclination as loving guardians is to hold our kids too tightly, despite their attempts to squirm free. We try to make all their decisions, keep them snugly beneath our wings, and prevent even the possibility of failure.

And in so doing, we force our young adults into one of two destructive patterns: Either they passively accept our overprotection and remain dependent "children" into adult life or they rise up in great wrath to reject our bondage and interference.

They lose on both counts. On the one hand they become emotional cripples who are incapable of independent thought, and on the other they grow into angry, guilt-ridden adults who have severed ties with the family they need.

Indeed, parents who refuse to grant appropriate independence to their older adolescents are courting disaster not only for their children but also for themselves.

-Excerpted from The New Strong-Willed Child (copyright © 1978, 2004 by Tyndale House Publishers) by James Dobson, PhD, FocusOnTheFamily.com

How Your Teen is Wired

Is your teen on the track to a meaningful future? Are you finding out what a joy it can be to help make the most of how God has wired him or her?

Many of us want to help our teens dream big, fulfilling, God-honoring dreams. But how do we do that?

The first step is to understand the great experiment known as your teen. In all of human history, there's never been another person with your teen's exact mix of God-given personality, talents, interests and spiritual gifts.

As the two of you get to know that unique wiring through self-tests like the ones in the book Wired by God, you'll start to see which kinds of dreams might make a good fit.

Read More: Your Teen's Basic Bent

-by Joe White, Larry Weeden, FocusonTheFamily.com

Teen Receives Her First Car Through Incentive Program

Misty Hedgepeth said she was completely surprised that she was picked to win a car in Northern Nash High School’s first Incentive Program giveaway.

Hedgepeth, who will be a senior in the fall, was at school visiting her counselor Friday while other students practiced for a graduation ceremony. She didn’t know that it was part of a set-up that the school coordinated with her mother, Rita Hedgepeth, to get her there so she could drive away in her 1996 Saturn SL1. The car was donated by Capital Ford of Rocky Mount. Hedgepeth also won $250 worth of gas from Griffin’s Food Stores.

“Misty is a hard worker. I’ve always gotten really good comments from her teachers,” Rita Hedgepeth said. “She’s very deserving of this opportunity.”

Students in 10th, 11th and 12th grades were informed during the school year that they could participate in the first annual Northern Nash High School Incentive Program. It was designed to encourage students to stay in school and to promote good student behavior. To qualify for the drawing, students had meet all eligibility requirements.

Read more.

by: Natasha Robinson, RockyMountTelegram.com

Goodluck 2009 Graduates

Over the past few weekends, seniors all over the United States have been walking the stage to receive their High School diploma. It is an accomplishment to be celebrated and rewarded.

Tools4Teens would like to wish all 2009 Graduates a long and joyous life. May God bless you as you enter a new season of life.

Here are a few quotes for the graduates:

There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. ~Orrin Hatch

What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~Eleanor Powell

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

For more quotes: quotegarden.com

Teens Who Make A Difference

There are many personal testimonies of The Power of One. When one person changes and begins to influence others, the results are amazing.

Teens that overcome difficult and sometimes devastating life changing moments have great influence over other teens.

One such story is Khloe Briglio, a 17 year old from Idaho who was sexually assaulted. She is a survivor who took her tragedy and decided to help others. Read her story here.

Tips and Tools to Keeping Your Family Safe Online

The importance of family internet safety education and etiquette is often overlooked by both kids and teenagers today.

While most teens are more ahead of the curve than most parents when it comes to the internet, they may not have the knowledge to help keep them safe from online dangers and its potentially negative effects.

On behalf of Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows, I have been asked to to introduce you to a new initiative called “LMK (text-speak for “Let Me Know,”) which provides parents and girls with resources catering to both generations, and whose goal is to bridge the digital gap between parents and teenagers.

Read More

-Sue Scheff

Teen on a Mission to Bring Prayer to His Fellow Students

With all the talk of teen issues, there are positive stories of teens who are setting amazing examples for other teens. Here is one such teen written about by The Daily Commercial, written by Roxanne Brown:

CLERMONT -- Every Thursday morning at about 7 a.m., dozens of students can be seen standing around the flagpole at East Ridge high school with hands held and heads bowed.

What they're doing is praying and it's all because of Jordan Blythe, 17, a student on a mission to making a difference through prayer.

"I believe that prayer is a powerful, powerful thing that has changed a lot of lives," Blythe said. "I pray about our country, our community, people in need, the economic crisis and all the people hurting because of it. But most of all I pray for this generation of youth and their need to rise and be good leaders."

Overall, Blythe is your average teenager.

Read More

"PROMise" Video Asks Teens to Pledge to Follow Safe Driving Laws at Prom Time

PROMise video- 30 seconds

PROMise video- 1 minute

Videos are best viewed in QuickTime.

DMV has created a special public service video called "PROMise" as the first prom season approaches following the the start of tougher teen driving laws last August. It tells the story of promises teens should make about safe driving on prom night. It is a promise, though, that should carry over to every day and night of the year.

In addition, DMV has created a special My Safe Driving PROMise for students to sign and commit to following safe driving practices.

Read More

-Connecticut's Department of Motor Vehicles

Parents and Teens: What Do They Need to Know?

The reality of life in some areas of the U.S. are dire. Many have lost jobs, homes, and the basic security that those things bring.

Parents find themselves not sure what to tell their teen. If you are in that situation, I encourage you to read "Need to Know Basis Applies to Your Kids" by Dr. Benjamin Garber, Healthy Parent.

Here is an exerpt:

As parents, we're our children's emotional anchors. We create the foundation upon which they slowly build self. Anything that shakes that foundation – from financial hardship to substance abuse, from co-parental conflict to serious illness – resonates through them.

Denying the reality can make the problem worse. The mom who reassures "Everything's fine, sweetie" through her tears or the dad who stomps away from the dinner table without any explanation then or later only adds confusion to the child's already stirred-up emotions.

This isn't reassuring, this is lying in the face of obvious changes. As a result, our kids will draw their own conclusions, too often blaming themselves, exaggerating the situation and assuming the worst.

I'm telling him what I believe he can understand. Good. Do this by figuring out what your kids are thinking and feeling.

Ten Years After the Columbine Massacre

(HealthNewsDigest.com) - BINGHAMTON, NY -- Ten years after the horrific massacre at Columbine High School sharpened the nation’s views on youth violence, Binghamton University researcher Mary Muscari sees cause for optimism — and for deep concern — about the way adolescents are growing up in America.

“Many things have gotten better. School shootings are horrible things, but they’re incredibly rare,” said Muscari, associate professor in the Decker School of Nursing and a nationally known expert on parenting. “Schools are still basically a safe place. However, we have enormous issues with bullying and cyberbullying.”

Muscari has worked with juvenile delinquents since the early 1980s. As a pediatric nurse practitioner, she has also worked with healthy children throughout her more than 30-year career. Muscari, author of five books for parents, has conducted workshops around the country on topics such as keeping kids safe from predators, bullying and how to raise nonviolent children.
....
Muscari continues: “Some degree of teen-parent friction is expected, but disruptive family conflict isn’t normal. Neither is persistent defiance, fighting or property destruction. This turmoil represents pathology, and it will not be outgrown.” She goes on to list behaviors that warrant professional attention.

Read entire article

Three Ways for Attacking Teen Anger

Knowledge is power, and understanding is essential to parenting. So many youth today allow anger to control their actions, causing regrettable behavior. As a parent, we want our children to make as few mistakes as is necessary, but we must first understand.

Rest easy, if you happen to have an angry teen, your teen is not abnormal. The unfortunate reality is that many Americans are victims to anger, and many of us have no idea of how to control it. The emotion anger is not necessarily the threatening factor, our concern rests in the actions associated with anger when it grows out of control. According to John M. Grohol with Psych Central, teenage anger arises from fear. Adolescents do have quite a bit to fear: they are experiencing new changes, they have the pressure of leaving home and their comfort zone, and school and peer pressures to name a few. As a parent, knowing that this stage in your youth’s life is normal, you are better equipped to handle the tough situations.

Inherently, any human being who is under pressure will react, though reactions may vary depending on the individual. Just as with depression, which can be a cause of anger, anger can harm your youth if not addressed appropriately.

Read the three ways to attack teen anger.

-Sierra Langh, Tampa Teen Issues Examiner

Sexting and Teens

There is no question that the age of high-tech devices have made keeping connected better than ever before. FaceBook, cell phones, MySpace, and other social networking has not only created positive interactions between teens but as time goes by society is learning of the negatives as well.

Sexting has become one of the biggest issues in a teens life. Pressures from boyfriends, social groups, and wanting to "fit in", teens send suggestive texts or pictures to others. Even when teens are told the consequences of sexting, it continues to occur.

Read about this alarming trend here. In this article it shares one teen's story and how she tried to warn others by appearing on a Cinncinnati television station to tell her story. Two months later she committed suicide.

The devastating affects on a teen who is ostracised due to sexting is heart breaking. One decision in a moment of pressure or "fun" can ruin a teen's life forever.

Teen Depression

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression

As I saw on the news last night, experts are saying that parents with children between the ages of 12-18 should have them screened for depression. It is not about promoting medication, it is about helping to understand if there are areas in their lives that can be causing stress and anxiety that can leave to making negative choices such has experimenting with substance abuse, hanging with a less than desirable peer group, feelings of low self worth, etc. Like adults, children can be prone to depression and stress and not mature enough to understand these feelings. With this, acting out in a negative way can follow. Take time to learn more.

Source: USA Today

Tools4Teens Summer Camp

This program will cover critical topics outlined in the Tools 4 Teens book. The focus will be on character and life skill development set on a Godly foundation.

Students will scrapbook throughout the duration of the program. This creative element will encourage self-awareness and positive goal setting. Our summer camp program can hold six students.

This program includes

• Eight hours of instruction, M-Th. 10am-noon, July, 2009
• On-site staff photographer
• Approximately 14-16 personal photographs per student for use in scrapbooks.
• All scrapbooking supplies, including 8 X 8 scrapbook.
• Each student will receive a customized Tools 4 Teens book using photographs taken by our staff photographer.

<< click here to request info on the Summer Camp Program >>

A Troubled Teen's Success Story

With all the troubled teen stories floating around it's good to hear the success stories too. Here's one that will make you smile (click on the link below to read entire article):

WEST PALM BEACH, FL -- Veronica Limia wanted her day in court. Not too many years ago, Palm Beach County judge sentenced her for burglary and grand larceny.

Veronica Limia, 6 years ago: "I don't know. Maybe it was attention seeking. If I wasn't going to be good, I was going to be bad. And I was going to be the best at it."

Bad is what got Veronica Limia off the softball team, running with a gang, breaking and entering and into the maximum security Florida Institute for Girls for 18-months. Along the way, she met Juvenile Court Judge Ron Alvarez.

Judge Ron Alvarez: "As I tell my kids when I send them into a program, which I don't like to do, make the best out of it. Get the most out of it that you possibly can. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you."

-"Former troubled teen returns to seek justice", reported by: Chandra Bill, wptv.com

Adults Face Fears about CyberBullying

Jennifer Pittman wrote an article in The Santa Cruz Sentinental about adults coming face to face with the issue of teen cyberbullying.

She writes:

SANTA CRUZ -- Adults who ignore the unfamiliar and sometimes daunting world of the Internet often fail to offer children and youth much needed guidance about safe and appropriate online activities, according to experts who spoke Friday at the 12th annual Jon Nadherny/Calciano Memorial Youth Symposium.

"Kids are growing up inside the Internet," said Frank Farley, professor at Temple University and former president of the American Psychological Association.

Farley, a keynote speaker for "Cyberpsychology: The Internet and Youth in the New Millennium," held at the Cocoanut Grove in Santa Cruz, calls himself "a digital immigrant" who struggles to understand the Internet world of his own two teens.

"They're not consumers of it; they live there," Farley said.

Read entire article

Abuse Among Teens

The Houston Chronicle wrote a timely article about abuse among teens in our society.

Abuse is widely reported so teens are constantly hearing about abuse among famous teen actors.

The article begins:

Celebrity watchers were astounded when baby-faced, 19-year-old pop star Chris Brown was arrested last month — for beating and threatening his equally photogenic and appealing girlfriend, the 20-year-old, Grammy-winning Rihanna.

The couple was so young, seemed so madly in love. This ugly thing hardly seemed possible.

But youth, what seems to be love and a veneer of normalcy actually are typical characteristics of much relationship violence. Parents need to grab this chance to discuss such abuse with their own teens. Read more.

Teen Suicide

Adults sometimes feel helpless when dealing with suicide. But they do not need to. A recent editorial explains what adults/parents can do.

Our view: Assuring a troubled young person's future can be as simple as asking questions and listening, which may help them shun suicide.

For adults, it's difficult to understand why a young person would kill himself or herself. We know that nothing could be that bad.

It appears there's a lot we don't know or understand about the mental workings of young people, and this is a good time to learn, whether or not you have a child.

Everyone and anyone can be the wall preventing a death. It's not that hard. It's about asking questions and listening, being positive and calling for help.

Read More

Valentine's Day Replacement for Teens

Many teens get wrapped up in the emotions that surround Valentine's Day. Some may make poor choices due to their "feelings" of love toward another.

Hormones are raging, the media is pouring on the love message, and peers may be pressuring teens to "go all the way" to show love.

A different kind of Valentine's Day celebration was celebrated in Ohio as reported from Christian Today:

Valentine’s Day is usually associated with red roses and crummy dates but for some teens in the U.S. this could not have been further from their reality. These teens opted instead to celebrate Valentine’s Day not by celebrating their love for another person but for God.

As couples around the world were busy dining in restaurants in ode to one another’s love, an increasing number of teens across North America were joining in celebrating the love of God as part of a new Valentine’s Day replacement, the “Day of Purity”.

Discussing strong emotions with teens is vitally important. They need to know that their feelings are not strange or abnormal, but they must learn to control them.

Honest, open discussions will help teens feel safe to share when these strong feelings emerge.

Finding new ways to celebrate "old traditions" will also help teens through some of the most difficult emotional times.

Teens Targeted for Identity Theft

If teens didn't have enough going on around them, now they are having to deal with identity theft.

Some teens must deal with strangers who steal their identity but, more often than not, more teens are facing identity theft from their own parents.

Parents get into financial difficulties and use their teens' social security number to open up alternate means of credit.

The Dallas Morning News reported:

A Houston student in one of Nevels' classes discovered her mother had stolen her identity when she was denied credit for a laptop for college.

"She said she'll just deal with it later," Nevels said. "She didn't want to deal with the conflict that she would have with her mother, who doesn't know that she knows."

Foley said her center has been getting "a lot of calls" on child identity theft," adding: "We're getting them from older teens, college-age students and from parents that someone in the immediate family is stealing a child's identity."

The fears of young victims are very real if they report the crime, Foley said.

Foley said she knows of three victims of identity theft by their parents who waited until they turned 18 to move out and report the crime to the police.

"They were afraid of the physical repercussions because they were still in the house," she said.

Young people need to learn early what identity theft is, Foley said.

"We need to start educating kids at the middle school and high school level about what is identity theft and that it's not right for somebody other than you to be using your Social Security number," she said.

The impact on young people can be far-reaching.

Teens face all kinds of issues from "without". Now they are having to face them from "within".

Teens' Decisions Based on Feelings

Often times teens do not realize how one mistake can impact their lives.

Their decisions are made based on how they feel at the moment.

Society teaches teens to feel and act instead of taking time to think about what their actions may do. Living this way causes many regrets and pain.

Lia McCord's story , from Houston, TX, is one example of how one mistake can alter life. Her dramatic story of one small decision detours her life for over four years in a Bangladesh prison.

Teaching teens to stop and think before acting may save them years of pain.

The Top Ten

David Letterman is known for his "Top Ten" list. The list is usually a synopsis of any given topic, in terms only a comedian could deliver.

While vacationing with friends one year we decided to make a Top Ten list of experiences over the course of the week. We made it together and still laugh about it today, and that was 8 years ago.

The difference between the two? David's list is geared toward everyone, but our list was personal. We chose things that were funny or important to us. If someone else were to read them, they would not understand all of them, nor would they appreciate their importance.

Having a Top Ten List for your family is a great way to keep everyone on the same page, and your parenting intentional. It is exactly what Mary DeMuth challenged her readers to do...

Make a list of 10 things you want your children to know before they leave the nest. How can you parent today so they'll know these 10 things?

Take some time to sit down and think about what you want your teens to know before they leave home. Be intentional about the time you spend, the words you say, and the actions you show them each day.

Expecations and Your Teen

With the presidential inauguration this week, most news stations are focused on the security, the performers, and of course, the president-elect Obama.

There is much talk about what Obama wants to do, what he promised to do, and what will actually happen. The whole nation has expectations about what Obama will do. Some will be thrilled, some will be disappointed. That's the nature of expecations.

People tend to have expectations of how things will happen, no matter the circumstance. It happens in politics and it happens at home.

Well meaning parents put pressure on their teen to act or be a certain way. Most of these parents truly do want what is best for their teen.

Teens rebel against expectations they do not feel they can meet and look to peers for support. Parents and teens stop talking and a divide between them grows.

Allowing teens to be who God made them to be will go a long way in helping bridge the gap. Accepting who they are and being open and honest will not only show support for your teen but will improve communication.

The bottom line is... your teen needs you. Not the you that expects them to be what you want them to be, but the you that listens and supports what THEY want to be and do.

Parents and Teens Can Talk Dating

It may not always seem easy, but it is possible for parents and their Christian teens to discuss important issues like dating and sex. No, it's not always comfortable, but those conversations are absolutely necessary. Teens need to know what the rules of dating are, and what their parents expectations are.

Yet, setting the dating rules may not be enough. There are a lot of temptations out there, and they aren't exclusive to non-Christian teens. It is so important that parents today have realistic conversations with their teenagers about sex and its impacts on teens. While the Bible provides a great background and foundation for the discussion, it is important that parents be open enough to realize that that foundation needs to be put in a modern and realistic context. The symbolism in Song of Solomon is beautiful, but teens need to understand what God is trying to say trough that symbolism.

So, parents and Christian teens need to get over the age difference and the discomfort to have a healthy and real dialogue about dating and sex. The open communication will go a long way in not only developing a healthy parent-child relationship, but also healthy interpersonal relationship.

-Kelli Mahoney, About.com

Internet Safety for Teens

Teens and the internet. Safety online is an ever-growing issue for parents.

In the New Year many parents are looking for way to keep not only their teen safe, but other children in the home as well.

Parents are striving to teach responsibility while using any type of technology. Gifts given during the holidays such as iPods, laptops, cell phones, and webcams require that the whole family learn to be safe and responsible.

Parents can minimize the risks associated with technology by knowing and educating their family about the three main risks.

Many teens find it difficult to talk about their problems, especially if they do not feel they are loved unconditionally. The lack of communication, though, can cost them their lives.

Here is one reader's view of teen silence:

Letter from a reader of the Tennessean

To the Editor:

This is in regard to Melissa Manley’s article about youth suicides in Tennessee (“Youth suicides, attempts in Tennessee are alarmingly high,” Dec. 3). I want to commend her for talking about youth suicide because people are reluctant to discuss it in these times. People today underestimate the severity of teenage suicide and, more importantly, attempted suicides.

There is more stress on teens today than ever before: graduating from high school, getting into college, getting a job after college, etc. The emphasis on success in modern society is causing teenagers to stress about things that they shouldn’t be stressing about until later in life.
Advertisement

Society is taking the part of being a kid out of the life of a teenager, and replacing it with adulthood worries. Stack society’s expectations on top of life’s tragedies and no parental guidance — it’s a wonder the suicide rate isn’t higher than what it already is.

There aren’t enough elder figures in a teenager’s life to give them a pat on the back and say everything is going to be “OK.” Manley summed up the problem with suicide prevention in her last sentence: “Silence costs lives.”

-Nathan Forester, HENDERSONVILLE 37075