Weight issues can take toll on teen self-esteem

Your pediatrician says your 13-year-old daughter should lose 10 pounds. You don't want to send her down the eating disorder road. How to navigate?

You are wise to tread lightly here, as girls are bombarded daily with unhealthy messages about their bodies, says family physician Leonard Sax, author of "Girls on the Edge: The Four Factors Driving the New Crisis for Girls" (Basic Books).

"So many girls are looking to the marketplace, they're looking to the movies, they're looking to the Internet for their notion of what women should look like," Sax says. "And the images are completely out of touch with reality."

This is the backdrop against which you must address your daughter's weight. Or not address it.

"If she's within 10 percent of her ideal body weight, she's not at medical risk, and I would argue it's not the doctor's job to say, 'You're a little overweight,' " Sax says.

If she is truly carrying around enough extra weight to put her health at risk, Sax says, take a hard look at her environment.

"The three big reasons kids are overweight are diet, exercise and sleep," he says.

* Diet: "I'm a big fan of Michael Pollan," Sax says. "'Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.' That's very good advice. There's no way you're going to achieve your health goals if you're eating fast food several times every week."

* Exercise: "Ideally you're using this as an opportunity to bond with your child. Go for a walk. Create little traditions. Disconnect the devices, and get outdoors."

* Sleep: "Sleep deprivation is a major driver in obesity. Making sure your kids get a good night's sleep is a parent's job. That means not letting them go to bed with their cellphones. Many parents don't even realize it, but their daughters are up texting at 1 in the morning."

If your family is making positive changes together, your daughter is less likely to feel singled out for her weight. And everyone reaps the rewards of healthier living.

By Heidi Stevens, Chicago Tribune

Parenting values and your teenager

For the past 12+ years you've taught your children core values that you feel are important in molding a positive young adult who will be filled with the same priorities. Does the teaching stop once they hit 13? How do you maintain the importance of family values as they continue to grow?

Just as any effective ministry begins in the hearts of what is taught at home, so teaching Christian values to your children begins with the hearts of the parents. Now, more than ever, your teens need to see the modeling of those values in your daily life before they choose to make it part of who they become.

Do you model taking care of your personal things? Do you model cleaning up after yourself? How about reading your Bible; having your own time with God? Do you show a positive attitude, displaying that everything you do is toward pleasing God? Does your teen see a giving heart in you? Do you consider others before yourself?

How do you spend your time? Are you taking care of things that need your attention? Or do your teens see a parent who spends a lot of time in front of the television, or playing video games?

Continue reading on Examiner.com

By: Jennifer Simmering

The Challenge of Christian Parenting in a Changing World

As a grandparent, I’ve watched things change dramatically over my lifetime. How can Christian parents raise children with biblical moral values in a world that has abandoned them?

The other day I was busy with a quilting project and had the radio babbling in the background. The topic was parenting, and specifically they were talking about texting.

This caught my interest as I have watched my granddaughter’s thumbs work their magic on her cell phone. How does that work, I’ve wondered, and do I really want to learn?

If I had children at home, it seems I would have to, as a mother on the radio program mentioned that texting has become the communication method of choice for teens. “They will not answer a phone call. I can only reach them when I text,” she commented. Texting is her way of checking in and keeping up—her electronic parenting tool.

We are in deep trouble!

Then the mother referred to a text she had received from her teenaged son recently. It was something like, Went to party. Yes Mom, took a condom, but I didn’t have to use it.

I stopped and looked at the radio. Did I just hear what I thought I heard—on national radio—from the lips of an unabashed mother? Did the panel laugh a little, as in “boys will be boys”? I think so.

Hmmm … texting is not all that has changed in my world. “Safe sex” has replaced the teaching I grew up with: Sex belongs in marriage—period.

We are in deep trouble, I thought to myself. We’ve got technology but we’ve lost our morality.

Read entire article here.

By Karen Meeker

Experts: Teen's Slaying Spotlights Dating Violence

The slaying of local teen, Lauren Astely, 18, that shocked the quiet Massachusetts town of Wayland over the Fourth of July holiday weekend, highlights a national problem of under-reported abuse and coercion in teenage romantic relationships, anti-violence experts say.

One in four adolescents is physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually abused by a significant other each year, according to national statistics released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Likewise, 10 percent of adolescents reported physical violence by their significant other in the past 12 months, the CDC said.

In mid-June, the U.S. Department of Public Health and Human Services and the U.S. Surgeon General included a Violence Prevention Strategy for the first time in their annual National Health Policy Strategy, just about three weeks before Astley's death.

Astley's ex-boyfriend Nathaniel Fujita, 18, also of Wayland, was arrested and charged in her murder. He pleaded not guilty in Framingham District Court.

According to Vladimir Albin, Jr., a youth team coordinator for the Boston-based domestic violence advocacy support group Close To Home, the majority of teenage dating violence goes unreported or under-reported. The Community Advocacy Program in Boston states only 33 percent of teenage dating violence is reported.

Because there are so many different kinds of abuse and because teenagers have less experience in romantic relationships, a victim may not realize a relationship is abusive or abnormal.

"They're not always aware that what they're experiencing is teen dating violence," Albin said.

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By: Allison Pickens, http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/28464644/detail.html

The Problem With Genderless Parenting

Read Entire Post here.

...Witterick and Stocker said they believe "it's obnoxious" that "parents make so many choices for their children."

But nothing could be further from the truth!

In fact, the politically correct trend sweeping the U.S., and evidently Canada, is setting child-rearing on its head. Instead of teaching our kids right from wrong and the traditions and wisdom we have inherited from our forbears, parents are more and more letting their children make all their own choices --choices outside of any moral or practical context.

I'm sorry, but expecting a toddler to figure out what's best for him (or her) is absolute madness. And it's tragic. No wonder kids are confused! There's no one to teach them now to grow up and flourish in the world; how to measure their wnats against what is actually good for them; and how to choose to do the right thing over simply indulging in their every desire.

But this is where the tyranny of relativism has led us. If there is no such thing as Truth, if right and wrong are up to the individual, then of course personal choice becomes the highest good: Even if the choice theatens our spiritual, physical, adn moral well-being.

You've heard me say many times that God has written His law on our hearts. We know instinctively that gender is part of our God-given, biological design. And we should realize that when we try to deny or suppress or alter that essential part of our being, it's not good for us-- and especially not good for our children.

I'm not saying that all members of the same gender should be made to think and act the same way. What I am saying is this: Efforts to transcend or ignore gender are destined to be fruitless at best, harmful at worst.

A culture that tries to do this ends up far more rigid and judgmental than the culture it's trying to reform. And tragically, its children often end up feeling far worse about themselves than children who are taught to embrace God's design and purpose for their lives.

-By: Chuck Colson, christianpost.com

Decrease Increase Teen curfews: Protect teens, curb crime, or just peace of mind?

Summer months are here and school is out, leaving many a teen with time on their hands.

To some city and law enforcement officials, that poses a problem.

The City of Atlanta recently announced its intention to enforce a longstanding teen curfew ordinance, lest kids 16 and younger roam the streets in the wee hours. Under the ordinance, anyone younger than 17 can't be outside their homes without adult supervision from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. Sunday through Thursday, and from midnight to 6 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Many cities and counties across metro Atlanta have similar regulations.

Proponents say the laws reduce teen crime and protect teens from danger, while critics believe the rules do little more than give a false sense of security to nervous adults.

"There's pretty much no question that [the ordinances] aren't effective in either reducing crime or preventing harm to young people," said Mike Males, a senior researcher for the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice, who has researched the effectiveness of teen curfews in cities across the U.S.

"It's basically designed to make people feel better about using a city at night, and it's an artificial thing," he said. "It’s a psychological law -- not an effective policy."

Read entire article here.

By Katie Leslie , The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Teaching Teens to Refuse Alcohol

Recently I read an article about a new trend in America—parents allowing their teens to drink at home. Apparently, the idea behind this is that drinking in the home setting will demystify alcohol and help the young people learn to drink responsibly.

Before I tell you what I think about that trend, let me share this fact with you. 11% of the alcohol consumed in the United States is consumed by underage kids. That’s a staggering statistic. Alcohol abuse among teens is becoming an enormous problem in America.

With that in mind, here is my comment on parents letting or even encouraging their teenagers to drink at home. With all the kindness and Christian charity this Texan can muster I ask these parents: Are you nuts? If you follow that same line of thinking, then you’ll also allow them to have sex at home, take drugs at home, lie and cheat at home. That’s just crazy!

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By: Mark Gregston, www.blogs.christianpost.com

General Assembly Takes Aim At Cyberbullying and Teen Violence

There are three bills before the General Assembly that address issues associated with teen dating and associated violence.

HB 6629 would allow teens to secure a restraining order against an abusive teen dating partner. HB 6053 would revise the state's bullying law to include teen dating violence. And SB 1138 targets cyberbullying. The three proposed bills should get a floor vote in the coming weeks.

"The whole idea here is how teens can protect themselves through the legal system," said Bob Kocienda, chair of the Norwalk-based Center for Youth Leadership.

HB 6629 wouljd allow teens experiencing constant threat of present physical pain or physical injury, a pattern of verbal intimidation, threatening or stalking by family or someone in, or recently in, a dating relationship, to apply for a restraining order "regardless of the age of such persons."

Only two other states, Rhode Island and California, allow teens to get restraining orders against other teens.

Under the bill, police much inform victims of abuse about options, including restraining orders and where to find domestic violence help. The Judiciary Committee unanimously passed teh bill out of committee.

"Anything that strengthens anti-bullying efforts is very positive," said Dani Gorman, head of the Youth Services Bureau in Waterford. "A lot of young people struggle with healthy and unhealthy relationships."
Read entire article here.


By: Jessie King and Catheryn J. Prince, http://waterford.patch.com

Does Drinking With Parents Help Teens Drink More Responsibly? Not Really

When I was in high school, my parents laid down a few ground rules about exactly how “liberating” my teenage emancipation was going to be. No driving without an adult in the car past dark, no staying out past 11 p.m., and no, absolutely no, drinking.

Well, it turns out Mom and Dad were on to something (don't you hate it when that happens?). A new study by researchers at the University of Minnesota found that teens who drink under their parents' supervision — the occasional sip at dinner or during holidays — are more likely to become problem drinkers a few years later than those whose parents, like mine, adopted a zero-tolerance policy.

When it comes to underage drinking, there are two schools of thought. Some are convinced that teens are too young and inexperienced to handle alcohol, and not ready to make decisions about how much is too much or how to drink responsibly.

Then there are those who point to cultures where alcohol isn't so taboo for adolescents, where adults allow their children to drink a little in their presence, and where alcoholism rates are no different from those in countries where underage drinking is illegal. By incorporating alcohol into youngsters' lives from an early age, and not making it a forbidden fruit, they argue, teens are less likely to abuse it as adults.

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By: Alice Park, www.healthland.time.com

Teens Warn of Underage Drinking

With prom and graduation just around the corner, St. Charles high school students and police hit the streets to spread teh message that providing alcohol to minors is illegal. The effort was the St. Charles Police Department's first year of Project Sticker Shock, a program of the Illinois Liquor Control Commission. April is Alcohol Awareness Month.

"I definitely feel there's a lot of underage drinking going on, especially around prom, and there's a stigma out there that the only way you can have fun is by drinking," said St. Charles North senior Buddy Haas. "So if you cut it off at the source, that can hep solve the problem."

Officers and students from both St. Charles North and East high schools aimed to stop last week at the 89 businesses with liquor licenses and provide them with signs and stickers warning cutomers that it's illegal to buy alcohol for someone under 21 and to use a fake ID.

"We're not delivering or sending people a message they haven't heard, but because it's a problem that persists and grows, we need to keep sending the message," Comander Jerry Gatlin said. While he said he doesn't believe underage drinking is more of a problem in St. Charles than otehr communities, he said nationwide it "is in a sense an epidenic and it has been for years. If one kid is out there drinking and drinking too much, it's one kid too many," he said.

In 2009, an 18-year-old was killed when the vehicle he was riding in struck two trees at a high rate of speed along Royal Fox Drive in St. Charles. The driver, also 18, allegedly had a blood-alcohol level almost three times the legal limit and later pleaded guilty to aggravated drunken driving and reckless homicide charges.

Read entire article By: Melissa Jenco, http://www.triblocal.com/

Moms Talk Q&A: Teen Dating Dilemmas

It's time to grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation with this week's issue:

Today we're taking a look at an age-old topic: Teen dating. With middle school dances, Facebook flirting (being in a "relationship" is just a click away, and so is "poking" a friend) and everything else that makes connecting with a crush super-easy in our fast-paced world, is it possible to stick to a set age for your child's entrance into the dating world? According to a Dr. Phil message board, many parents still believe 16 is the right year to allow a first date, and even then, many encourage group outings. We found these tips for talking to your child about the subject, and now we're hoping you'll add your own advice.

The question: Is there a perfect age to allow your child to start dating?

Read entire article

By: Beth Blanck, southeast.patch.com

Drug Trends – Teen Issues

The world outside has not become less real just because the prisoner cannot see it.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Recently, several officers from the Sheriff’s Department of a large Georgia city talked with our staff concerning the drugs they were seeing emerge on the streets. As they spoke about what they were witnessing and how drugs were being made, I was struck by one of the officer’s comments: “We will never be able to do anything but play catch up. People who want to use drugs will always be ahead of us.” What a sad commentary, but how true it is that individuals who want to get high, will make every effort to do so, often with that which is most accessible.

So what is a parent to do? How are we to know what might emerge next or how can we protect our children? Think how each decade has represented a new era in drugs. In the 50’s it was alcohol, the 60’s marijuana, the 70’s psychotropic drugs like LSD and mushrooms, the 80’s cocaine and crack, the 90’s chemically made drugs like ecstasy (MDMA), and since 2000, it has been a litany of new chemically concocted drugs. A stimulant that is making much of the news lately is Crystal Methamphetamine. One of the officers, when talking about Crystal Meth made the comment that in the 80’s he had thought crack would be the death of this country. Now he would say that Crystal Meth has become far worse than crack ever was. What is even more disturbing is that people are now using fruit flavoring to entice and attract new users.

In looking back over the decades, we as parents must realize that this trend is a natural progression. The economic concept of supply and demand does an effective job of teaching us what we should expect would happen.

Think of it this way: There is a demand/desire to get high for the following reasons:

Read More.

By: Drew Read, Parent's Purpose

Lead Your Adult Children Back to Christ

If you’ve suffered the pain of seeing one or more of your adult children leave the faith, you may feel as if there’s nothing you can do to lead them back to Christ now that they’re no longer living with you. But it’s never too late to help your kids re-connect with Christ. No matter what’s happened in your children’s relationships with Christ and with you, healing and reconciliation are possible.

Here’s how you can lead your adult children back to Christ:

Set a goal and commit to doing all you can to reaching it. Aim for helping your adult kids love God with all of their hearts, put their full faith and trust in Christ for both their present and their future, and arrive in heaven to join you someday. Keep that goal in mind often as you work to encourage faith in your kids.

Read entire article

Whitney Hopler, Crosswalk.com contributor

Evangelical Responds to Cyrus Interview: Urges Parents to Be Parents

Billy Ray Cyrus recently admitted that he should have been a better parent to his famous daughter, Miley Cyrus, rather than a friend.

The president of Focus on Family, a prominent evangelical organization, agrees, saying that a parent should simply be a parent.

In a blog post Wednesday, Jim Daly suggested that Cyrus made bad parenting judgment by trying to be friends with his daughter – originally named Destiny Hope but who in her early years was nicknamed “Smiley” for her incessant, carefree grin.

Daly stressed that even though it’s natural for a parent to be liked by their children, they must they first have to ask themselves, “Do we want to be their best pal – or their parent who often has to hold firm and say ‘no’ when they desperately want us to say ‘yes’?”

Cyrus made headlines this week after he told GQ magazine that he regretted being in the popular Disney show “Hannah Montana” because it destroyed his family. He also lamented about trying to be a friend to his daughter as he had often emphasized in many interviews.

Read the entire article here.

By: Josephine Vivaldo|Christian Post Contributor

Encouragement for Single Parents with Teenagers

One of the toughest roles anyone can have in today's culture is that of a single parent. It's hard enough to rear a child- especially a teenager- with two parents; but with one the burdens and pressures and problems multiply. My hat is off to every single parent. But more than praise for the difficulty of their task, I know from talking to so many of them that they need someone to walk with them and encourage them.

In almost every case, a single parent is walking down a road they didn't plan to be on. They started with two parents, but something happened- death, divorce, abandonment- and now they are sturggling to fill two roles that their children desperately need. They are trying to do an already difficult task without all of the resources they need. (If you know a single parent, go to them adn find way to encourage them. They won't always know how to ask for the help they need, so take the initiative yourself.)

Practical Steps
There aren't any easy answers. There isn't a magic verse of Scripture that will fix all your problems. There isn't one "cure all" that will remove all of the challenges that a single parent faces. But there are some practical steps that can offere help and hope in this very difficult job.

Read the steps here.

-By: Mark Gregston, http://blogs.christianpost.com/parenting/2011/02/encouragement-for-single-parents-with-teenagers-09/

'Wolf Pack' Teen Bullying Case--Is America Getting Meaner?

Nadin Khoury was brought to the United States ten years ago by his mother to escape the cruelty that accompanied teh Liberian Civil War. Last month he was left suspended by his coat from a seven-foot-high fence after being punched, dragged, kicked and beaten in a Philadelphia suburb. His shocked mother said, "One of the reasons I came to the U.S. was (so) that these horrible things wouldn't happen to us."

Here we go again. Sadly, it seems every time we turn around there's a new case of bullying in the news. Back when I was growing up, bullying seemed to be almost a rite of passage for every new kids at school, a type of hazing to validate your acceptance. Of course, the big difference in those days was that the bullying was usually only at the schoolyard an dtypically petered out quickly. Now, in the cyber world there is no respite and bullying has taken on a much more sinister tone.

Today kids have to deal with not only physical confrontations, but are also virtually pounded 24/7 via Facebook, Twitter and cell phone by text, calls and voicemails. In some cases (think Tyler Clementi) personal situations are videotaped and posted on teh internet for all to see. In others (Phoebe Prince) the bullying lasts for months on end. In addition, as in these two caes, suicide is being seen more and more an an end result with these kids.

Read entire article here.

by: Dr. Dale Archer, FoxNews.com

Mercy Ministries

Since 1983, Mercy Ministries of America has provided hope and healing to generations of desperate young women who are seeking freedom from life-controlling issues such as:

• Physical and Secual Abuse Including Sex Trafficking
• Eating Disorder
• Self-Harm
• Drug and Alcohol Addictions
• Depression
• Unplanned Pregnancy

Their free-of-charge biblically-based program serves a diverse population of young women from various socio-economic backgrounds, ages 13-28. Many of the girls, who come to Mercy for help, are facing a combination of debilitating circumstances and have been in various treatment facilities with unsuccessful long-term results.

The ministry is committed to providing the young women they serve with the most excellent prgram services that allow them to recognize their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential. Their non-conventional approach to healing allows young women to permanently stop destructive cycles and prepare them to take hope out into their communities.

For more information about Mercy Ministires, visit their FAQ section here.

Girls of Grace: Conference helps teenage girls cope with today's issues

Body image? Self esteem? Eating disorders, sex and the downside of social networking?

Yuck, if you're a teenage girl, right?

Well, not if you're a teenage girl attending Girls of Grace, an exciting one-day event being held Feb. 19 at World Outreach Church in Murfreesboro, for girls 12 to 17.

"Girls and their mothers come from far and wide to attend these conferences," said Susan Niles, on behalf of the event.

Hosted by award-winning, multi-platinum selling trip Point of Grace, Girls of Grace will tackle issues teenage girls face through a fun platform that includes well-known featured speakers, lots of music and more.

"We've been singing together for many, many years, and about 8 or 9 years ago our dream came to fruition," said Shelley Breen, of Point of Grace, explaining the group's desire to start a conference for teen girls.

Breen said following their concerts, more and more girls would come to the trio for advice about tough issues.

"For us that's so hard," Breen said. "We are up on stage singing Christian music and (girls think) we have all the answers ... So many girls need a lending ear, and need answers."

Read more

By: Sadie Fowler, Shelbyville Times-Gazette

Public meeting to focus on teen drug and alcohol abuse

When officials at Ellensburg High School said last month that there had been five incidents in two weeks involving students and drugs, including two students found to be under the influence of heroin, teacher Samantha Nelson wasn’t surprised.

Nelson, who teaches health to freshmen and sophomores and consumer and family issues to juniors and seniors, is a member of a Drug Task Force committee.

She knows it’s not uncommon for teens to experiment with drugs and alcohol. She knows that what starts as experimentation has the potential to also be tragically life changing.

“It wasn’t that I was surprised. I was saddened,” Nelson says. “These are good kids making bad choices and it can ruin their lives. I think it starts innocently enough, beginning with alcohol, continuing with marijuana and moving on to harder drugs like cocaine and heroin.

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By MARY SWIFT staff writer Daily Record