Lenient parents seen as part of the problem

The Santa Rosa parents provided a table and counter covered in booze and then left about 50 teens to have at it, including then 13-year-old Zachary Parenti of Sebastopol.

“Everyone was really drunk. Hundreds of dollars of property was destroyed. I drank an entire bottle of Tequila,” said Parenti, now 14, an Analy High School freshman and member of 1-4-1, a teen club at the west Sonoma County high school.

For many teenagers, drinking alcohol is a rite of passage, with partying teens filling Facebook pages with pictures of beer bashes, images reminiscent of dozens of popular movies that have championed a basic theme for decades: “Dude, where's the party?”

But with recent health studies showing the harmful effects of alcohol on the teen brain and the ever-present risk of drinking-related tragedies on the road, parents are trying to figure out what to do about the age-old problem of teen drinking.

And some parents say many parents are part of the problem.

Read entire article.

by: Randi Rossmann

Christian Parenting That Is Not Succeeding

More than any other generation, today's parents are worried sick that they will mess up their children's lives. There is so much fretting that even the backlash has spawned a notable movement and subgenre of its own, the slacker mom.

I find most Christian parents at the front of the line—the anxiety and success line, not the slacker line. Our most consuming concern is that our children "turn out"—that is, that our Christian faith and values are successfully transmitted, and that our children grow up to be churchgoing, God-honoring adults. It appears that many of us are not succeeding.

The exodus of young adults from evangelical churches in the U.S. is well reported, perhaps over-reported and hyper-hyped. If this isn't enough to induce parental panic, another unsettling report came our way in a summer 2008 Newsweek article, "But I Did Everything Right!" Sharon Begley reported that, contrary to the opinions of decades of experts, genetics may have a more potent impact on child development than our own parenting practices.

These scientific findings are not only ultimately hopeful and helpful for parents; more importantly, they also support Scripture in an area that has been plagued with presumption, behaviorism, and wrong thinking for decades.

Many Christian writers and parents have absorbed these values and drifted into what could be called spiritual determinism. We have absorbed the cultural belief in psychological determinism but spiritualized it with Bible verses, and one verse in particular. The result is a Christianized version of the cultural myth. It reads something like this: "Christian parenting techniques produce godly children."

Proverbs 22:6 has been widely adopted as both psychological premise and theological promise, despite the widespread recognition that hermeneutically, the Proverbs are not promises from God, but general observations.... Read more.

By Leslie Leyland Fields, Christianity Today

Teen Suicide Prompts A Look At Bullying

Phoebe Prince’s lilting Irish accent and wide smile made the 15-year-old freshman stand out at South Hadley High School, where she enrolled last fall after her family relocated from a tiny village in the west of Ireland.

Her principal called her smart and charming. A boy invited the new girl to the school’s winter cotillion, a highlight of the school year. But two days before the Jan. 16 dance, Prince died in an apparent suicide, after incessant bullying by classmates at the 700-student high school.

“In a school with that many kids, there are going to be issues,’’ Sergeant Robert Whelihan, a spokesman for the South Hadley Police Department said yesterday. “We are investigating what effects the bullying might have had on the suicide.’’

The bullying included disagreements over teen romances at school, school officials said. And it continued with taunting text messages and harassing postings on Facebook, the popular social networking site.

“The real problem now is the texting stuff and the cyber-bullying,’’ said South Hadley School Superintendent Gus A. Sayer. “Some kids can be very mean towards one another using that medium.’’

Sayer declined to comment on the exact nature of the bullying, but said much of it was done online or by cellphones. Read more.

-Kathy McCabe, boston.com

To Save A Life Movie Opens January 22, 2010

On January 22, 2010 To Save a Life opens in theaters nationwide. This exciting Christian film confronts many teen issues. New Song Pictures gives viewers a touching story that will certainly change the way they see people. The story is inspiring and the way it deals with the issues the characters face is remarkable.

To Save a Life is the story of a teenage boy, Jake (Randy Wayne), who must make the choice to do what is popular or what is right. In the past he made the choice to be popular and it cost him a friend, literally. Now he will not let that happen again. Jake must also decide what he believes as far as God. A youth pastor, Chris (Joshua Weigel), comes into Jake’s path and he has a very unique, but effective way of dealing with the teens. Jake’s faith is tested by many difficulties, but the final outcome is inspirational.

To Save a Life discusses difficult topics such as suicide, cutting, divorce, teen pregnancy, dating, partying, drinking/drugs, depression, abortion, adultery and more. Although it is very tastefully handled, parents and leaders should know. This is a very moving film that will help adults to understand what our teens are facing and teens to see what their actions towards others could be saying.

To Save a Life is a powerful movie. It is a great film for any teen, parent, youth group, etc. I do want to warn there are some topics that might be too mature for younger kids; however most teens are aware of these issues. Please check out the official website www.tosavealifemovie.com to find a theater near you and for resources. Today many teens are faced with issues and situations similar to those discussed in the movie and this film may be just what is needed, to save a life.

-by: Dana Chafin at FamilyChristianMovies.com

The Myth of the Perfect Parent

My family and I were traveling in Guatemala a few years ago. We visited a man who had given his life to serving a poor congregation. We sat at the kitchen table with him, a man who had been bent into humility by the burdens of pastoring in a struggling nation while raising four children.

Still in the muddy trenches of parenthood with our five sons and one daughter, we confessed to him our feelings of inadequacy. "Your children are grown. What have you learned looking back on your years of child-raising? Do you have any advice for us?" We looked at him, needy, expectant.

He would have none of it. "I'm not one to talk to. I don't exactly have a perfect record." One of his children was immersed in an addiction, he told us, visibly sad. Another had a failed marriage.

He was silent for a moment, nodding slowly, and then continued. "I never lived up to my mother's expectations either. I've been reading her journal lately, and I see how she prayed for me, what she prayed. And I've never lived up to what she hoped for me," he said, his voice a near-whisper. "I think she considered me a failure."

Read More

-Leslie Leyland Fields, ChristianityToday.com

Make Family Your New Year Priority

As we begin the New Year it's time for America to face the fact that the modern American family is in crisis. With the pressures of dual careers, often no one is keeping the home fires burning. What families gain with an additional bread-earner, they often pay for with a loss of nurturing.

Many of our nation's children spend more time with an endless flow of randomly-assigned teachers and "care givers" than they do with their own parents. This trend has left children of all ages hungry for the richness and depth of fully developed parent/child relationships.

Family members are often like ships that pass in the night. Many get lost in the fog of a busy life, crash on the reefs of loneliness and end up split apart. Everyone suffers, and children suffer most.

Read entire article

Rebecca Hagelin Author, 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family, crosswalk.com

Helping Teens Take Perspective of the New Year

The teen years can be the most difficult of all years. Think back on your sixth grade through twelfth grade years. What do you remember? Unfortunately our lives are often colored by events that happen to us in our teen years. Maybe you were bullied. Maybe your parents got a divorce. All of life's embarrassing changes happen to our physical bodies during our teen years. And everything tends to be amplified and awkward. How do we help our teens get perspective and make changes for the New Year?

The New Year is a great opportunity to sit down with your teens and reflect on those things - good and bad - that occurred during the year. Grab an old calendar and take it apart, or on a large sheet of butcher paper, draw lines dividing into twelve equal parts. Lay out the year by month in sequential order from January to December. Using various colored pencils or markers, pick a color or group of colors to mark the bad events. Use another color or set of colors to mark the good events. Go through the year, month by month writing down the events. For every bad event that is remembered and marked, the teens need to come up with at least two good events to place on the calendar. For every bad event remembered, have the teens think of at least one good thing that happened because of the bad event.

What the teens will eventually discover is that the good events outweigh the bad and they will actually remember the good, more than the bad.

After that exercise, talk with your teens about the New Year as an opportunity to start over, make a few changes, and make the bad events of the past into good events of the future.

Grab a new calendar for the New Year and start making plans to implement changes and make hopeful plans.

-Jan Sullivan
AprilWord

Jan Sullivan received a Masters Degree in Youth Ministry from Asbury Theological Seminary. She served as a youth pastor for thirteen years in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. She published her first book, Forever Family, in July 2008. Her second, Never Alone, was published in August 2009. She lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her dog Abby and spends her time loving teenagers and consuming Christian fiction. Modeling her life after Christ, the great storyteller, Jan hopes that her stories will lead young people to make decisions to follow Christ.

jan@aprilword.com

http://www.aprilword.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jan_Sullivan