Teens' Decisions Based on Feelings

Often times teens do not realize how one mistake can impact their lives.

Their decisions are made based on how they feel at the moment.

Society teaches teens to feel and act instead of taking time to think about what their actions may do. Living this way causes many regrets and pain.

Lia McCord's story , from Houston, TX, is one example of how one mistake can alter life. Her dramatic story of one small decision detours her life for over four years in a Bangladesh prison.

Teaching teens to stop and think before acting may save them years of pain.

The Top Ten

David Letterman is known for his "Top Ten" list. The list is usually a synopsis of any given topic, in terms only a comedian could deliver.

While vacationing with friends one year we decided to make a Top Ten list of experiences over the course of the week. We made it together and still laugh about it today, and that was 8 years ago.

The difference between the two? David's list is geared toward everyone, but our list was personal. We chose things that were funny or important to us. If someone else were to read them, they would not understand all of them, nor would they appreciate their importance.

Having a Top Ten List for your family is a great way to keep everyone on the same page, and your parenting intentional. It is exactly what Mary DeMuth challenged her readers to do...

Make a list of 10 things you want your children to know before they leave the nest. How can you parent today so they'll know these 10 things?

Take some time to sit down and think about what you want your teens to know before they leave home. Be intentional about the time you spend, the words you say, and the actions you show them each day.

Expecations and Your Teen

With the presidential inauguration this week, most news stations are focused on the security, the performers, and of course, the president-elect Obama.

There is much talk about what Obama wants to do, what he promised to do, and what will actually happen. The whole nation has expectations about what Obama will do. Some will be thrilled, some will be disappointed. That's the nature of expecations.

People tend to have expectations of how things will happen, no matter the circumstance. It happens in politics and it happens at home.

Well meaning parents put pressure on their teen to act or be a certain way. Most of these parents truly do want what is best for their teen.

Teens rebel against expectations they do not feel they can meet and look to peers for support. Parents and teens stop talking and a divide between them grows.

Allowing teens to be who God made them to be will go a long way in helping bridge the gap. Accepting who they are and being open and honest will not only show support for your teen but will improve communication.

The bottom line is... your teen needs you. Not the you that expects them to be what you want them to be, but the you that listens and supports what THEY want to be and do.

Parents and Teens Can Talk Dating

It may not always seem easy, but it is possible for parents and their Christian teens to discuss important issues like dating and sex. No, it's not always comfortable, but those conversations are absolutely necessary. Teens need to know what the rules of dating are, and what their parents expectations are.

Yet, setting the dating rules may not be enough. There are a lot of temptations out there, and they aren't exclusive to non-Christian teens. It is so important that parents today have realistic conversations with their teenagers about sex and its impacts on teens. While the Bible provides a great background and foundation for the discussion, it is important that parents be open enough to realize that that foundation needs to be put in a modern and realistic context. The symbolism in Song of Solomon is beautiful, but teens need to understand what God is trying to say trough that symbolism.

So, parents and Christian teens need to get over the age difference and the discomfort to have a healthy and real dialogue about dating and sex. The open communication will go a long way in not only developing a healthy parent-child relationship, but also healthy interpersonal relationship.

-Kelli Mahoney, About.com

Internet Safety for Teens

Teens and the internet. Safety online is an ever-growing issue for parents.

In the New Year many parents are looking for way to keep not only their teen safe, but other children in the home as well.

Parents are striving to teach responsibility while using any type of technology. Gifts given during the holidays such as iPods, laptops, cell phones, and webcams require that the whole family learn to be safe and responsible.

Parents can minimize the risks associated with technology by knowing and educating their family about the three main risks.

Many teens find it difficult to talk about their problems, especially if they do not feel they are loved unconditionally. The lack of communication, though, can cost them their lives.

Here is one reader's view of teen silence:

Letter from a reader of the Tennessean

To the Editor:

This is in regard to Melissa Manley’s article about youth suicides in Tennessee (“Youth suicides, attempts in Tennessee are alarmingly high,” Dec. 3). I want to commend her for talking about youth suicide because people are reluctant to discuss it in these times. People today underestimate the severity of teenage suicide and, more importantly, attempted suicides.

There is more stress on teens today than ever before: graduating from high school, getting into college, getting a job after college, etc. The emphasis on success in modern society is causing teenagers to stress about things that they shouldn’t be stressing about until later in life.
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Society is taking the part of being a kid out of the life of a teenager, and replacing it with adulthood worries. Stack society’s expectations on top of life’s tragedies and no parental guidance — it’s a wonder the suicide rate isn’t higher than what it already is.

There aren’t enough elder figures in a teenager’s life to give them a pat on the back and say everything is going to be “OK.” Manley summed up the problem with suicide prevention in her last sentence: “Silence costs lives.”

-Nathan Forester, HENDERSONVILLE 37075

Teens Thirsty For Hope

As I wrap up my first Tools 4 Teens program, I am reminded how incredibly blessed I am to be in a position to make a difference in the lives of teenagers. I think my students would be very surprised to know that I got as much out of this experience as they did!

I firmly believe that it doesn't take a bomb, but rather a simple seed planted in a life that can make a huge impact. To hear, with complete conviction, that you are empowered with the ability to define your future, can be the seed which bears a garden of fruit.

My program took my students on a journey they will not soon forget. We talked about Peer Pressure, Sexual Purity, Anger/Forgiveness, Self-Control and what it takes to live life filled with hope, joy and success. For many, this was the first time they heard these Life Skills and Character Building messages. You could see that they were thirsty for HOPE. They want to know that they can achieve their dreams and live a beautiful life. They want to know that they are valuable and loved unconditionally.

My biggest surprise came when I realized just how much I bonded with each one of these teens in such a short amount of time!! They touched my heart in such a way that I want to be their biggest cheerleader as they achieve each milestone in their lives.

I will not forget any of these precious teens. They each made a mark on my heart which has changed me forever.

-Kelly
(Tools4Teens author)